Owning Our Weird

Kate (00:00)

Welcome back to the Awakening Conversations podcast. My name is Kate and I am here with my co-host Amanda for another episode. And today we really want to talk about owning our weird. So as Amanda and I have been having conversations throughout our own conversations together, but also most recently with some of the guests that we’ve had, we have seen a theme really coming up when we address the topic of being our authentic selves in the world post an awakening. It can be quite challenging to really step out into the world with this new understanding of who we are, this new way that we see the world, how we understand ourselves. 

 

And today we really wanted to speak to that particular challenge and what that experience has been like for us. So we’re going to talk about in more depth the pathways that have both worked, have worked for both of us. What’s helped us to first get a deeper clarity on who we are. Second, live in a greater alignment with that. And third, have the courage to share that in the world because that’s not an easy thing to do especially when we have so much, you know, programming, conditioning and have had experiences in our lives, even before I think our awakening journeys of maybe being weird and

 

you know, I know that’s part of my experience, but you know, you’re weird. Amanda, this, this today’s topic really came out of a comment that you made at the end of one of our last interviews that was something that an astrologer once said to you. And I’d love for you to share with us that conversation on that reading that you had so that we can begin our conversation today about owning our happened for you and what is it about this astrologer?

 

Amanda (01:56)

I love that you clued into that on our last conversation. And I’m really excited to talk about this because I don’t feel that I’ve dived in, dove in, dive in. I haven’t really explored this out loud, I think with other people. And so I think this is going to be good for me to talk about and for me to explore. 

 

So I will give a little background. We are currently living in San Miguel de Allende which in Mexico and we moved here just over a year ago and we were, I think the first two weeks here were a little chaotic and something just pushed me to book a reading with this person that I know like online. I never met him before, but I had done some website work for him and he put it out there that he was doing astrology readings and I didn’t know like what his background was astrology or anything. I just, I liked his video and something nudged me to schedule a reading. And I’d only had one other astrology reading before, which was quite powerful, but I think each astrologer brings their own perspective to a reading, right? And this particular person, his name is Rab, he uses cannabis to go into a different realm. 

And he, it wasn’t only a reading of my chart. It was a very, it was once I was in it, I realized he was channeling also. Like he was in a different realm. And he had a lot of, like this reading went on for like three hours. I think it was only supposed to be like an hour and a half, but it went on for like three hours. And he had a lot of moments where he’s like, you need to listen to me right here. Like you like you need to do this differently. You need to like he was, it was just a very, I loved the reading and I loved, loved that he, like the energy that he brought to it. And I went away from it.

So, like my mind was blown, like I was transformed just through this reading and so I think I’ve shared that I have a lot of Aquarius in my chart. I have sun, moon, rising, and Mercury all in Aquarius. And over the past couple of years, I started to understand what that might mean, that I need to stop conforming. I need to stop people pleasing. I also have Libra, a lot of Libra in my chart, and that’s very much about keeping the peace. And so it’s like I have these two forces and like where they’re positioned. I think like Libra’s pulling me this way and Aquarius is like, like my path is to like do my own thing, to like be my own person, to be the rebel, to be the, not go with the pack essentially.

 

And I got that from my first, the first astrology reading that I had had, but he, he bled, he came out and said like, you are weird. And I’m like, I am. And it occurred to me that like, I’ve been trying to live my whole life, not not being weird. I’ve been trying to like fit in and not like stand out. And him just like saying that it forced me to like examine this concept of what being weird means and how me not wanting to be weird, like how I’ve been fighting that for a good chunk of my life. Like, where does that come from? It comes like I can look back in my childhood and I, I grew up in a very like,I don’t know, track homes. I don’t know if you have those in Australia, like ever all the houses are all the same. And everyone’s tried to like, everyone’s trying to like, like, look the same, dress the same, not a lot of diversity where I grew up. And so it’s like, I did not want to stand out. I did not want to stand up growing up.

 

Kate (05:43)

Oh yeah, yeah.

 

Amanda (05:55)

I remember times where I like shut down certain like aspects of me. Like I stopped dancing because like people started like making comments or I stopped twirling baton because I stopped like excelling in school because like, like I won the spelling bee in sixth grade and some boy like just came out and like said some terrible thing to me because I was in the newspaper and like there were so many situations I can look back where I like, I shut down when I started to stand out. And then I’m like realizing, I’m supposed to like, I’m supposed to not care. And I’m supposed to, you know, easier said than done.

 

So that realization that like, it’s in my chart, it’s in my design and also doing a lot more work understanding what does it mean? Like our astrology and our human design and our Gene keys like how much of that explains my experience and how much of that I’ve been also in a way not fully embracing or like leaning into because I learned somewhere not to.

 

Kate (07:01)

Yeah. And when Amanda actually mentioned just this comment, you’re weird. And the astrologer told her that and that she’d been fighting that it really resonated with me because I myself am a Virgo with a Virgo rising and six planets in Virgo. So I’m here to be the Virgoest Virgo there is to be. And I have fought that.

 

And it has frustrated the hell out of me. And I have been like, you need to be so often through my life, you need to be more flexible and spontaneous. And you need to like, you know, stop being so like, you know, step by step by step with your thinking, but I cannot help it because that’s so in my chart. And actually it was only probably in 2019, right before my awakening that I was working with a coach. Like, well, that’s who you are. It’s who you’re here to be and how you’re here to operate. And it was a revelation to have someone point that out and be like, Oh, I could actually embrace that part of myself and let it work for me instead of work against it. Cause it really did bring me for so many years, so much mental anguish. Cause I told myself I was boring and I was rigid or I was, I was all these things because I, that was how it made sense to me.

 

But I want to just reflect to so many things you just shared in terms of your life’s experience prior to even that statement. I wrote some things down here, like standing out and fitting in. I also had a period in my life where, you know, I’ve always felt different. I’ve been tall since I was young. So I stood out like a large percentage of, you know, size through primary school above most of my friends.

 

You know, I was pegged as the goalkeeper in netball because I was so tall. And, you know, the team photos, like, no, it’s like basketball, but you don’t bounce the ball. Yeah. So you throw it, you have to stop when you throw it. Maybe, maybe. Yeah. Yeah.

 

Amanda (09:09)

Is that volleyball?

 

Ah, okay. Is that an Australian game? Okay.

 

Kate (09:21)

Um, but yeah, the team photos, like everyone’s heads at my shoulder and then there’s me. So, you know, that’s, that’s awkward. And I excelled in sport, especially as a swimmer, not so much as a

 

Amanda (09:25)

Yep.

 

Kate (09:33)

and I didn’t really think anything of that until exactly maybe in high school where I went to an all girls school first two years. And I can remember we had it like a training day just in the 25 meter pool that they had at the back and like, I was killing it. But that’s just cause I loved it. And people started looking at me weird of like, you know, this teacher’s giving me a lot of praise for how fast I’m swimming or how good my technique is. And these other girls are kind of like, side eyeing me. I’m like, Oh, that doesn’t feel good. You know? And so I didn’t really want to talk about the fact that I was a swimmer. 

 

And then I also then the same school went on to be bullied. I still don’t know really why and what it was that triggered it off, but I think it was just all girls. And at some point, you know, we went on a school camp at the start of year eight or eighth grade and the three best friends and I that I had, we had to go canoeing and the only three people could get in the canoe. I’m like, that I’m cool. You guys go, I’ll go in this one with these two other people. We got back from canoeing and then it was like, well, they didn’t want to talk to me anymore. And literally I followed them around the rest of the school camp where they would just, you know, hustle huddled together and literally ignored me.

 

And so I then went back to school and it continued to to then be like, well, OK, well, you know, I don’t want to be weird and stand out anymore. Like what’s wrong with me? What did I do? And so, yeah, my grades, I was like, well, you know, I don’t want to be smart anymore. And because, you know, I was I like school, I like learning. So I didn’t want to stand out when my grades really flunked after that as well. 

 

Amanda (11:01)

Mm -hmm.

 

Kate (11:09)

So I can really resonate with that. And, and then the astrology, like as you’ve just talked about, and I know that, you know, for your journey, I think astrology is such a great place for us to start to see and accept in some ways who we are and our, some of our tendencies and some of the reasons why we feel the way we do.

 

Act the way we do, even like think the way we do. Cause one of the things that really did unlock for me when I started to ask that deep question of myself and who am I and who am I here to be was reading Chani Nichols book, You Were Born For This, and having an actual understandable explanation of my chart from, you know, our suns, our moons, our rising and so on.

 

And seeing how like even things like, you know, our Mercury placement or our Venus placement, where it is in the sky, how that influences the way we think about ourselves. This was a big one for me and like why I doubt and why I’m so hard on myself. Like there’s a planetary aspect in my chart that causes me this, you know, some of it is my own work of self -love and some of it is there’s this influence in my chart that is part of that. 

 

So. What else have you learned through your astrology and what other modalities have you used to help you get that better sense of yourself?

 

Amanda (12:38)

Wow. So this past year has been pretty powerful because I started studying my own chart, but then I also started setting my family’s charts. And something that came out of that reading was that he focused in on, you know, we talked about a lot, but it was something he’s like this next year, this time is all about your, um, my North node. I think it’s my North node in Cancer and it’s all about like self -care and taking care of myself. Like that’s what I need to focus on. And I really dove into that. 

 

And then I came through studying my family’s charts. I noticed my daughter’s Cancer sun and my husband has Cancer moon and Cancer rising. And I recognize where I struggled so much with my daughter and her emotions. Like, it didn’t make sense to me like how she can be so emotional. But really him pointing that out about like Cancer, like that my work is in the Cancer part of my chart. And it’s like, I have these two really strong people in my, like, my life that are that it’s like, they’re here to teach me that they’re like, they’re here to challenge me and to grow. And my daughters and my relationship has improved so much in this past year through this understanding of her astrology and my astrology, like knowing that I’m here, like that is my challenge and that is what I’m, that’s like my Dharma. That’s like what I’m here to, get to evolve through essentially and to grow into. And it’s like what a gift her emotions are, like that totally flips it on its head that her big emotions are actually a gift to me. 

 

And then I’ve done so much work in this past year of like being with my emotions in my body, like the embodiment of emotions, and that’s transformed for me. That experience like tipped all of these, like this cascade of events afterwards. And then I started working with the Gene keys, which like knowing, understanding my Gene keys chart plus astrology, that has worked nicely together. And then I would say for me, for the modalities, because it’s been so much about embodying my emotions, I did a lot of, what did I do? A lot of breath work, a lot of what’s called TRE, traumatic release exercises. It’s where it’s tremoring, essentially, it’s releasing stored energy from the body. I haven’t done that in a bit, but that was pretty big for me.

 

 I worked in a very intentional way, I haven’t in a while, but in the past year, cannabis more conscious way, like in a ceremonial way, which has allowed like, it’s been really useful for me being in my body. Because of all of the air in my chart. I have all that Aquarius and then I have three planets in Libra. So I have seven things that are air. And so it’s like, I leave my body and so I need to learn how to be in my body. And so understanding the elements within our charts can tell us about what our tendencies are. And so that plant for me has been at those times, was really useful for me to ground more in my body, to be in my body, to feel more. And by doing that, I recognize where my tendency, like my default is to leave my body. And so, yeah, those I’d say in the past year, those have been the modalities for me.

 

Amanda (16:32)

What about you? What’s been your modalities that you’ve worked with in terms of like helping you embrace your Virgo -ness and I also wonder like for you like really owning the projects, like the real tangible stuff, like is that part of like consider that a modality in a way to like really honor those aspects of you, I would say.

 

Kate (16:43)

What do you mean by projects? 

 

Amanda (17:03)

Well, just like the tasks, like you took on a hotel, right? Doing a project like this podcast, and just like owning that, like that’s what you’re good at and you can do those things, right?

 

Kate (17:12)

Yeah. Yeah. And you know, I mean, exactly that, right? So in some ways it’s such an innate ability that the easy thing for me is to be organized. It’s easy for me to see a system. It’s easy for me to, you know, like see a problem, I guess, and like how we can solve that in a logical order or exactly bring a creation into being from an idea because it’s like, okay, well there’s steps to that. 

 

And yeah, my experience and appreciation of that has really come through these last seven years of running a hotel. We started with like nothing in place cause we weren’t really that ready to get going and go, okay, that didn’t work. What would work? How do we run this better? So I can, I have that ability to exactly like turn a mess into something that’s streamlined and focused and has a process. So it makes it easier for everybody. And then you just tweak that. 

 

So yeah, I never appreciated that until, until now. I just thought it was boring. I don’t know why I was so hard on myself. It’s so boring. You’re not, you’re not creative, but that’s actually very creative. And I guess in a sense too, you know, we, we don’t see our innate abilities as, as quality as, or that they’re, excuse me, like all that exciting. Cause it’s easy for us, right?

 

Maybe we are like more excited by the thing that we learn that is different. And we think, oh yeah. But actually it is about realizing what does come so naturally to us is the gift of our designs and our astrology. And actually embracing that is, is kind of like taking, taking a load off. Like there’s no stress to be another way. And I think that’s what I did spend a lot of my life doing was.

 

I have to be different from this version of me. And maybe that happened around the bullying time because I was like, well, whatever you were doing wasn’t okay. So who you are is inherently bad and wrong and you shouldn’t be like that. So you have to be different. And, you know, maybe that’s really what is at the core of that and why I fought myself for so long.

 

Kate (19:28)

I will say, yeah, to start astrology was really the key that unlocked it for me, it sort of started the conversation. And like I said, that particular book was such an easy one to read and follow and like unpack it. Um, and it did give me such a lot of relief, you know, that, Oh, that’s why I feel like that. That’s why I think like that. That’s why sometimes that feels hard for me. So it gave me a way to kind of give myself a break. 

 

The next thing was for me was human design and real, and the understanding that I’m a Projector and that really helped me when it came to running my own business and being an entrepreneur or having your own online business. I’m taking all of these, you know, business coaching courses and all that sort of stuff about, okay, well, it’s just like this sort of hustle and it’s this grind and it’s this, you’ve just got to keep pushing, pushing, pushing and working really hard. And to get this thing and actually know as a Projector, that’s not how my energy operates. I can’t run on that. And when I do, I feel certain ways. I feel bitter. I feel literally burnt out. And, you know, I had to learn that the hard way I was, I was trying to be someone I wasn’t, and it was such an awful feeling. So something about learning, I was a Projector was another like, Oh, I don’t have to do it that way.

 

Cause it doesn’t feel good for me. And so I can choose when I have the energy show up for it, when I don’t take a rest, like permission to rest, you know, I’d been a voice in the back of my head for a while anyway, like, you know, you’re you less is more in a sense, you know, um, giving myself the time to, to have a rest means when I actually show up, I can show up more creatively and, and you know, I actually create something that I, that feels aligned rather than like, I have to output this many blog posts, this many social media posts. It doesn’t feel aligned for me. So that was really powerful for me to learn. 

 

And then in this last six months, I’ve also dived in more to the Gene Keys, human design and astrology all combined together and working with someone who’s helping me see how that is also translates into the work I’m here to do in the world. 

 

And, and, going into that particular program, I was like, okay, I realize again, I’m 44. I’ve been asking myself this question for a very long time. Like who am I here to serve? What is the work I’m here to do? I really want to do it. I really want to do it. Going into this program, I was like, okay, I have a feeling she’s going to tell me things I already know. And sure enough, we pull up the astrology, we pull up the, you know, the gifts of the human design and the Gene keys. It’s like, I get all these thoughts that I’d had, feelings I had, there they are. There they are in these charts. And now with new words and new ways to connect them. 

 

And again, it was just another level of acceptance of myself, you know, it was another kind of homecoming and a realization that I keep ignoring what’s right in front of me. Saying this isn’t it. This isn’t my purpose. It’s something I haven’t thought of yet. And so take another course, read another book, sign up for another program. And I think that’s something that many of us have to realize. It’s, it’s, it’s already happening through our bodies. It’s already happening in our thoughts. It’s already happening in our knowings, our intuition, our purposes, you know, our path, if we’re looking for it, it’s there.

 

And, you know, Vanessa, that it’s, you know, our coach has always says that we’re always on the path. We’re never not on the path. We just think we’re not on the path. Right. This mind of ours is always saying, no, that’s not it. That’s not it. At least that was my experience. 

 

And so that’s why these modalities I think have been so powerful for me is showing me. No, you, you, you are, you’re doing it. You’ve already thought it, you’re already feeling it. You’ve, you’ve made certain choices even to become a Health Coach. It’s like that’s a large part of what I’m here to, to experience is like this health aspect and the spiritual path. And, and then how that translates into all of my planets in Virgo. And then on the other side, how that’s actually a lot of what my life’s work is to, is to teach all of what I’ve been through. And, you know, as a Projector as well it’s like, that’s what I thought. But here’s now a beautiful way to language that that’s more specific to the actual person that you’re here to work with. And I was like, okay, great. Now I can like, just turn off all these tabs that I have in my mind or maybe it’s that maybe it’s that and like, just focus. So it’s been really powerful to, to dive into it.

 

Amanda (24:17)

What came up as you were talking was that how much has…I want like the programming of society done a really good job of like making us believe we’re supposed to be a certain way and then like reject the parts of ourselves that don’t fit like those cookie cutter molds. Like what is success? Like what is like ideas of what success is like in the Gene keys, we learn that like we each have a very unique like I’ll say blueprint of what success means to us. Like we all, if you dive into the Gene keys, there’s three sequences. The last sequence is the pearl sequence and that looks at our prosperity. And, you know, many of us believe prosperity equals money. And for some of us, we want a lot of money. And for some of us money is not even what we feel successful from.

 

Like for instance, my pearl, like mine is recognition. I’m a line two of my pearl and that is recognition. And so it’s like, and when I learned that I was like, oh yeah, like I feel very excited when like someone acknowledges the work that I do. And to me like that feels, more exciting than the money. Not that I don’t want money, but that’s more of a motivating force for me than the money. Whereas different lines have different things that motivate them. Some people just want a simple life. Some people don’t want all of the success and notoriety. So I think as we start to dive into this, we can start to see like, oh, I felt I’ve rejected myself because I wanted  to fit into this box, but like I have this blueprint, this model. And we can start to examine like where do those stories come from? 

 

Like, for example, I think I shared it in a previous episode about like a big realization for myself in the past year was how I morphed into a different version of myself because I wanted my dad to understand me. I unconsciously knew that he couldn’t understand the weird person that I am. And so easily just became the version of me that got recognition, validation for being something that I’m not. And then, and so I went through my whole life, be not knowing like who I am, what it is that I want. And then, so it’s been like the past, I’d say, I don’t know, 10 years of me refiguring that out, like leaving a profession that like I thought was that I went into for, you know, I went into because I was trying to like fix and solve and then leaving it and then asking myself, well, who am I? And feeling like a failure because like the, the money wasn’t coming in because that’s what success is. Right. It’s like what you have to, you know, the culture I come from, it’s a lot of cultures. It’s like the car that you drive, the house that you live in, what schools do you send your kids to? Right. That’s like what we’re using as metrics of success.

 

But how many of us, I know there’s a lot of people that have those things that are unhappy, right? And so that’s not the true version of happiness, what’s gonna give them happiness. And so I think what we’re talking about here is that it’s a way for us to explore, to get to know ourselves in a way that, it’s like a little, it’s validation that like, hey, that thing that you feel, it’s true. It’s not just because it’s different from like the imprint of society doesn’t mean that it’s wrong. And beginning to follow that way of doing things, it opens up so many more possibilities. And then you start questioning, like, where does that belief of, you know, how, you know, our work ethic, our all the things that we learn, right? 

 

Like, which taps into that human design that you spoke of like we each have our own way of doing things, right? Like I’m a Generator, for example. And I, human design is probably, I know the least of the human design of the three, but learning that I’m a Generator, like that was, it explained to me why I feel so terrible when I like, say I’m gonna do something and then like an hour before I’m like, I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna do this, I don’t, and like that aspect of that explained it so much where I’d like, oh, I just wanna cancel like it’s, because if things aren’t a hell yes, then like I can’t do it. Like it comes to work, like I used to get sick trying to like work a normal job because it did not physiologically work for me to do something that was not a deep yes from my sacrum.

 

Yeah, I think that as we start to explore our chart, we can start to see like where…separate the societal imprint from what’s truly us. And what’s truly us is, for me, has been my, has been reflected back in my chart. 

 

I’ll share something from the Gene Keys that’s, I think, pretty, has been pretty potent for me. And it’s what like prompted me to begin diving deeper was my purpose sphere is number 27. And it talks in there about, raising kids and being very present in my kids’ lives. And I chose being a mom, like I left my career because I wanted, like being a mom was more important to me than a career was. And it was a career that was like, you know, I took a lot of like student loans out to pursue, right? 

 

But in the end, like, I believed I could do both. Like I can be a professional and I can be a mom. And in the end, I wasn’t doing either at the level that I wanted to do. And so I ultimately chose being a mom. And then later when I read that sphere, it’s my purpose sphere. 

 

That’s part of my purpose is to be a presence in my young children’s lives. And like how undervalued is that in society, right? Like just just being a parent, but it’s actually a really important job. And so learning that, it just gave me so much peace to know, as you were saying, I’m on my path. And I was never not on my path.

 

Kate (31:23)

What a great example of, of exactly that society says, no, you can have it all. You can be a working mom and raise a family and you know, have this perfect Instagram life. Like, no, actually, you know, and I think the way that you’ve just described it to, you know, there’s, if you really, if we really think about it, society’s rules are like, you know, even the way that we’re graded at school, right? If you’re not here, then you’re not anything. If you’re out here in the peripheries and you’re, you’re not smart. Actually, you probably just don’t learn that way. But anyway, whole other conversation.

 

Amanda (31:59)

Actually, I think we’ve come back, circled back to the school part, because that came up for me earlier, is like school is a big part and us learning not to be our design. So, but continue please.

 

Kate (32:07)

Yeah. Okay. We’ll, we’ll circle back.

 

Yeah, like, you know, if we really do look at society, like the, it’s very slim set of rules, right? You got to the basic one, like get good grades at school, get a good job, get your education, you know, rise in the corporate world or whatever profession you choose, but like, you know, continue to progress through that, retire at 65, travel around a little bit and then you die. Right. Like that’s not really all that fun. That sounds a bit brittle and tasteless to me. 

 

But when we really do allow ourselves to explore what this design really is, like it just to me, it looks, feels like this like beautiful tapestry of like the uniqueness. And it’s like really embracing all those little things that make us different. And we want that because imagine if we really did live like that, like how boring is life.

 

I wanted to say is that, this is another great example for us to never compare our journeys to anyone else’s, our choices to anyone else’s, the way we feel about our, how we should live our lives to anyone else. Because inherently there are these special things that we are here to do. And so exactly, you know, society might say you need to have a profession, but your deepest feeling is like, you know what? I want to be home with my kids. And like how beautiful it is to embrace that fully.

 

Whether you check your design or not, but that can be really something that helps you break down that societal programming to say you have to. Yes, you have to understand how you’re going to still make money doing that, but it can be an embrace of these things you actually truly feel called to be doing in the world rather than following that model that doesn’t feel right.

 

Amanda (33:54)

Yes, I think that, I guess I’m gonna bring school into this because school to me, and this, I think this is triggering for a lot of people because they are so ingrained to believe that we need it, that it’s essential for society to function. And I don’t know, I don’t know all the historical specifics, but if you, if you go and dig into like how, how the school system was developed over a hundred years ago, it was to produce factory workers. And, and so in that regard, you need people to be very uniform. You need them to fit within very confined range of skillsets and you don’t want people rocking the boat. You don’t want people like me that are like super Aquarius that question things.

 

So it’s an old model and I think it’s outdated. And I think it really does a disservice to the differences that we all have because it’s trying to fit everyone into a very narrow range of learning styles of what is considered valuable, right? Like how many like how many people learn that they aren’t valuable because their specific skill sets are not what’s valued in the school system. I’d say it’s probably a lot.

 

That’s long lasting. Like, I don’t know, like you just talked about trauma that you got from schooling and maybe that’s more of a social, like that was more of the social aspect of it. And I think that’s part of it. Like there’s like a conformity aspect of like, where people who deviate from the norms, they get ostracized and they get, they start to feel that they, what makes them unique is not valuable. 

 

And that also happens on the learning side too. Like, you know, learning came easy, easily to me, but I know for people who like learning in that model did not come easy, like it shot their self -esteem and, they and I, I also I believe. Our self confidence of like believing that we can learn is like more important than the actual learning that happens in school. It’s like believing you can do something.

 

There’s a lot of people who do not finish high school that have gone on to like make big impacts in our world because they believed in themselves. They just didn’t fit into that model. And so I think, I think, you know, we talked about the new world, the new earth, like, I think we are moving out of that old system. I feel like, you know, some people doubt me, and that’s fine. But I feel like the college system, at least in the United States is going to collapse, just because it’s an unsustainable system. And there’s so many ways like innovative ways of learning, right? Like this conversation has gone out there. But there’s so many different ways that we can learn, right? Like we can learn from peer to peer within community. And so like the whole, hierarchical system of learning from like a top -down approach, which is really what the school systems are based upon. Like that is, that’s changing. And so I think that the more, more people that are like opting to homeschool and opting to like teach their children in different ways is going to, is a way that people don’t have to unlearn when they’re an adult that they can live their design.

 

Right? Because if parents can embrace children’s uniqueness, they don’t have to learn that there’s anything wrong with who they are. Right? Which we learned. That’s what I learned. Like, I learned that I couldn’t be me and you learned that you couldn’t be you. And we have to morph ourselves into something else. And then we’re in our 40s and we’re like, OK, we’re on these healing journeys. And it’s like, why do we have to put our kids through that? Like, to me, it doesn’t make sense. And I know that like there’s practical reasons why people send their kids to school. Like there’s, there’s like, that’s part of the system. And so I’m not like saying this to like shame people for like doing it, going within the system. But at the same time, it’s like, I feel like the system is like a disservice to all of us being who we uniquely, who we uniquely are. That’s my soapbox.

 

Kate (38:01)

Yeah. Yeah. And I think that’s really, no, I really appreciate that. And I think it’s, it is important to talk about because from our experiences as well, you know, I have had to spend so much time learning to like myself again. Okay. Yes. We, mine, you know, was not necessarily through a judgment on my ability to learn. But you know, it’s still that structure as you talk about it.

 

It is there, you know, I was lucky enough to like to learn, you know, so I still didn’t try my hardest because I didn’t want to like be the smartest, you know, like, so even I look at my high school end of year grades and like, I did as enough as that, that I needed to do to get it somewhat good grade. I could have done a lot better, but I was afraid to do that because of the, you know, even the social aspect of it would don’t be different. You know, so I think, I think.

 

You know, and even when I think about people in my classes, like they weren’t taught to their abilities and their way of learning, you know, and I, and some of the teachers, you know, they were harsh, you know, and so exactly like they get sliced off and I can only imagine how they feel in terms of their sense of their, their smartness, their abilities, their competence, you know, when a model and something that you have to sit through year on year on year does not, you know, accommodate you as an individual.

 

We have plans for, you know, a community we want to create somewhere in Central America that we want to build a school and we want to build it in one of those models that is really allowing every child’s unique learning style, you know, the uniqueness of who they are to be nurtured. Yes, we still teach the things we need to learn to create us to create life and work in a, the world and, you know, become people who own businesses, but in such a way, as you said, that the individual never has to then spend how many years of their life undoing, you know, this, these, these stories and beliefs they form about themselves and their confidence, you know, to start kids off on that foot, like imagine, imagine. 

 

And so, you know, bring that back to the, the tools that we were talking about, like astrology, human design and Gene keys, even when we you know, explore these, they aren’t a set of rules. They are really, you know, um, I wrote it down, like, it’s just a way of understanding our own workings, you know, you don’t have to follow it to the letter, but at the same time, you’re already doing it. Like it is you, it’s just this, it’s almost like a playbook for you to better understand yourself. And the beautiful thing about, uh, Gene keys is it’s like this deep contemplation of it. You know, it’s a very different, to looking at your chart, your astrology, which they say is like the story of your life. And then the human design is kind of like the mechanics. And I feel like the Gene keys is then this like how to really enrich, enrichen and if that’s a word, like go deeper and bring to life these concepts and contemplate them in such a way that it does, it kind of unlocks a little bit more. And I mean, it’s, it’s said to be, you know, unlocking the DNA. It’s like cellular, it’s really activating these qualities within us through our contemplation of it in our lives. Do you, can you speak to any of that, you know, from the Gene Keys as you’ve, you spent a lot of time with Gene Keys. And I think you have spoken to this realization of it being a big part of your pearl sequence, which is something that is the part that really talks about our sense of prosperity and our purpose in our life.

 

How has it been for you to spend time with the Gene keys in that way?

 

Amanda (41:59)

The Gene keys, I need to, I’m feeling the call to dive back in because I went deep with it and I’ve kind of still in my awareness, but I’m not currently reading them or exploring them. So I’ve been feeling the call to dive back in. However, it’s been, it’s like a journey. And I think it’s described as that like it’s going on a journey of and it’s like, you’re almost like your evolution, like how explains, like the path of your life. And so I feel like I was able to, I’ll explain how I worked with it. So for those of you listening, the Gene, the current Gene key profile is 11 different spheres. And that creates this formation that you can go, we’ll have a link in the, on the website where you can go create your own profile and see what I’m talking about as far as the visual of what it looks like. And they actually are going to release another part of the profile. So there’s going to be more to work with in the future, but there’s currently this 11 spheres and they create, they create three different pathways. 

 

So there’s what’s called the Genius pathway, the Venus pathway, and the prosperity or pearl pathway. They’re all connected, but they each have their own specific focus, I would say. So the Genius is four different spheres, and that makes up like your zone of Genius. It’s like you can think about the Genius pathway as like your, who you are. 

 

The Venus sequence is like your relationships, like your immediate relationships. And then the pearl, the prosperity is like, how are you in the greater community? So it goes from the personal to the direct relationships, then to the bigger whole.

 

And so I worked with them through that order. I worked the Genius sequence, the Venus sequence, and then the pearl sequence. What I did was I would sit, I start with the first one, I’d read it, I’d sit and I’d contemplate it. I would meditate on it. And eventually I started to see these pearls like when I’m meditating, I could see them like how they’re related to each other and how they’re connected. And things in meditation started to unlock for me with regards to these specific Gene keys.

 

And I had really big shifts happen in my life through that. Like, for example, my, like the first, the first sphere is called your life’s work. And that one in a sound healing, I received the, just the strong message to follow intuition when I received it, which is very like, very basic, right? But it’s how often do I like, can we receive intuition and dismiss it or think it’s just something like a story in our own head, not not really grasping that it’s like a message for like that has there’s very potent energy for us to follow in this moment in time. So the first thing that happened was in the sound healing, I got that message. And then the next day in meditation, I had the very strong message to pursue my photography. And so within 24 hours, I put up a website and this opened me up to all these people locally. I was very introverted. I was kind of alone here where we were. I was doing a lot of personal work, but I hadn’t really opened myself up to meeting people. And this, within a week, it was like I had met, tons of people within and very like aligned people, very interesting people. And it was just like from following that intuition, which is that particular Gene key is all about tapping into like the quantum fields and so receiving and manifesting.

 

 So that was like. I was like, that was the Gene key that came in and that was the message that came in. And then that was the next step. And very soon after that, from that happening and me recognizing that, oh, I received, I felt what it felt like to receive that intuition, that nudge. And so then I started doing that more, which led to this podcast as we talked about like how it was the intuition to like send you that message and allowing myself to act before my mind got in the way. 

 

And feeling what that feels like and seeing what the results are, it showed me a different way of doing things. And so that’s what I, it’s, I don’t think it’s, it’s not a linear process working with these things. It’s like, they all affect one another. And it’s like, it’s this process that happens over time the different experiences of our life, beginning to apply them.

 

So I feel like that’s what Gene keys has allowed me to begin to behave in a different way than maybe was my default, if that makes sense.

 

Kate (47:47)

Hmm. Yeah, that’s a really powerful example. And I’m like so inspired to actually just start where you started and, and sit with them more. Cause you know, as I said, I’ve been working with someone to help me get the full picture of mine. And, and we’ve been working particularly with the Pearl sequence and you know, there was a strong message there to really sit with. I think it’s the culture sphere and the line because bringing this one to life is a really big unlocker. 

 

So it’s like, okay, well, I’m going to actually sit with that some more. And, you know, I’m inspired to do that because I think, you know, something that came through for me, I don’t know why, but last night in my dreams was like, we really need to move from having knowledge to having integrating that to be our own lived experience and our wisdom. You know, it’s great to hear these things and, and feel that inspiration, but that’s, that doesn’t, that’s not what contains the powerful effect of the application, you know, we have to apply, we have to do that contemplation, we have to sit with that meditation to actually receive the unlocking, the benefit of it, you know, to actually extract it from it and show up for either the contemplation of a Gene key or a practice or a new way of thinking to feel its benefit in our life. It’s one thing to know it is another thing to experience that in our lives and the magic that that is, because for you, I love that example of, you know, it was almost like a night and day moment. You know, I’m here in this new place and then within 48 hours or so, I have this new community of aligned people, you know, and it’s just like, again, this incredible example of how life is always offering us like how here’s how to make your life better. Like, here’s what you need in this moment, you know, and we can dismiss it so easily. 

 

And so if we were to even say, again, this is such a great example of another reason to potentially look into these things for yourself, to see how you can really, you know, I want to say, and I don’t know if this is enrich your life by way of just deeply understanding yourself in a like broader context. And it’s almost like you then get to play with pieces of it and lean into them more and like, well, if I really show up for this part, how does that change my life? You know? 

 

And, and again, as I am learning about this in terms of a business lens, like there’s words like leadership and community and like, okay, you know, I’m not necessarily in those fully yet, but what would it mean to step into them more and show up for them from this authentic place? That really means me being me more and more and more, you know, like.

 

These just feel like natural next steps to like, okay, well, if we really own them, what does that mean for the experiences of our lives and the people we meet and the work we get to do and potentially the money that we bring in, you know, whether that’s a part of our focus or not, but you know, it’s a beautiful way to begin to expand the experience of our lives in a way that is very unique to us and an embracing more and more of our authenticity and our authentic experience as a soul and what that soul potentially really wants to live into in this lifetime.

 

Amanda (51:20)

Yeah. I think the path to living more aligned with who we are is such a great, it can be such a gradual process, but it really so it’s like, it’s such a paradox is that it’s a gradual process, but then like so much can shift through just one doing one thing differently. It like, cause like oftentimes we’re living in loops, right? We’re like just going, we’re like in a rut and it’s like, we’re on the default and we’re going in circles. And all it takes is for us to like start going off in this direction a little bit and then starting to, it puts us in a new reality, which then it takes us out of that same, the same rutting circle that we were in. And so it’s like our life can transform from seriously just taking, making one, doing one thing differently.

 

And I loved what you said about it being like a game because really it’s like, let me just try this. Like my default would be to think about like in my head, okay, well, I have to, if I’m going to pursue my photography, how’s it going to work? It’s like, I’m going to do this and then I’m going to do this and then, and then, oh, that’s not going to work or that’s too much work. And literally it was like, I did it in such a different way where I’m just like, I threw up a page.

 

I’m like, I’m just gonna like build a portfolio. And it was like, I did this one, and then I did this one. And then I met this people. And it was like, these people are helping me. And I was like, Whoa, I don’t need to like, it changed my the pattern in my head that like, I need to figure this all out myself. It’s like, there’s actually people that will support me that, that want to see me succeed. I don’t have to do it all myself. And it’s like,

 

And that’s also what we’re moving into, right? We’re moving into like going, not doing it all ourselves anymore, using our networks, using like the power. And that’s where like things can take off exponentially. It’s through the power of like our relationships. And that was a, I think for me, part of my wounding is like, oh, I’m not gonna trust people. I’m just gonna, I’m going to do it myself. I’m not going to rely on other people. 

 

And so it’s like so much of, so much, it comes from like our programming, but also our wounding as well. And so it’s like, we also need to like move out of that to show ourselves that like there’s other ways that we can do things. And, um, so sitting with these Gene keys, as you said, it’s like, it introduces like, here’s another way that you can try it. 

 

And then it’s just taking a different step. And it’s, it’s who we can’t control where it’s going to take us. We just have to like kind of embrace it and go with it and move with it. And, but I think the more we feel like the more that it feels good, the more that it feels like, Oh, this is like who I am. The more that we’re wanting to like continue and we’re no longer willing to like go back to the box that we were, you know, the conformity box that we were once living in.

 

Kate (54:40)

There’s three things I want to say to that. One, when we don’t live in that conformity box, like the energy that you feel about your life and the joy you feel about your life and the excitement you feel about your life is turned on, turned up. And then I want to say too that what you really, um, spoke to there is how actually like contemplating that key was a healing for you of a pattern that sort of changed things for you.

 

And what I also want to say then as a third thing is that for those listening, I think it’s both in the human design and the Gene keys as each of these parts of our chart, they have numbers. They are presented in such a way that we can learn about the shadow expression of them and the gift expression. I think it stops there in the human design, but then in the Gene keys, there’s also the siddhi expression, which is its highest expression. And so you can even learn for yourself or become aware of when you are in that shadow pattern.

 

You know, we’re in our programming pattern of that, that particular sphere, that gift, and it creates a deeper awareness for you of like, okay, here’s what, here’s where my work is. So it’s a powerful place to understand your work, um, through new lenses so that you can shift into the gift, the gift, you know, it’s all connected. So it’s just a pathway. Um, and you know, you really kind of demonstrate that, that you’re, you stepped into the gift part of that that Gene key through that contemplation and that immediate application. And you, you, you did, you moved out of the shadow expression of that overthinking it and talking yourself out of it into the realization of no, actually I don’t have to do this alone. And when I say yes to it, I get network and I get people. 

 

So, you know, I think that’s a really beautiful way to close our conversation here today. Is there anything else you want to share on owning your weird following your design before we, before we close?

 

Amanda (56:35)

So this whole path that we’re speaking about, this awakening journey is really the journey back to who we truly are, who our souls came here to be. And we forget that, most of us do. We forget that when we come into this life, unconsciously absorb so much from outside of us. 

 

We can then utilize these tools and these three that we spoke about today are quite powerful. And we’ll leave links for you all to begin exploring these more that we found helpful. And I would just encourage people to start diving in and choosing if you haven’t explored these before, choosing one that most resonates with you. 

 

And you know, the astrology with astrology, a lot of times getting a reading from someone can be helpful to start you out to start like pointing you in the right direction of how to understand your chart. And then you can start doing some self -study and exploration and thinking about it. Gene Keys is meant to be more of a an individual process where you don’t necessarily like it’s actually not encouraged to get readings from people with Gene Keys. So if you do well with self -study. Gene Keys is a great one to dive into. I would suggest getting the big book. We’ll have a link to that below that you can purchase. But they also do these online retreats where they take you through the different sequences. I have not done them, but you could do that to help to guide you through your own process.

 

Alternatively, there are individual books on specific sequences. So you could get the big book, which talks about all the 64 different Gene keys. And then you could also get the books for the individual sequences and work through your sequences with the books together. So it’s a real, I find it to be a practice to incorporate into your life into your day. And I would just say, give yourself, if this intrigues you, I would just make it a little practice where you read a little bit each day, you sit with it and see what unlocks for you. 

 

I’m not gonna really speak to human design, because I don’t have, you can do a reading for that too. That’s, I know a lot of people do readings to introduce them to human design. So. Just some tangible ways that you can start diving into these if these are new to you and you want to begin working with them. So thanks for bringing up this topic, Kate, because I enjoyed it and hopefully others did as well. And they can also start to feel, start to embrace some of their weirdness. Oh, actually, I’m sorry. I have to share this story. Can I share it? Okay.

 

Amanda (59:41)

So where we live in Mexico, San Miguel de Allende, there is this annual parade. It happens in June. It’s called Desfile de los Locos, which is Parade of the Crazies. And it’s this huge parade. It’s like, we only watched it for like an hour and 15 minutes, but it went on for hours. But what happens is these, they’re called the Locos. They prepare for this parade beginning like right now in, like we’re in April and every Sunday we can hear their music going for hours. And it’s like the celebration of our inner like crazy or inner weirdness. And so literally today, um, last year, I remember every Sunday there’d be this music playing like, what is that music? And it’s like, they’re, they’re doing their thing every Sunday for hours. And I was hearing it all day today and it just like, made me so happy that we were talking about this topic and that there are these people that come together to like celebrate their weirdness and it made me want to go find them because they’re like in the next neighborhood over from us. I think next week I’m going to go look for them and see if I can like if I can take pictures of them. But anyways I just wanted to share that because it’s so relevant to our topic that and they and they, in the weeks leading up to this parade, they do these little mini parades and they’re just like, they’re crazy music, they’re trucks with like, they’re big speakers and they have these weird masks on. 

 

And it’s just this like, embrace, embracing of the people who just want to dance and like be their whatever, their freak self and which I find so cool in this like conservative culture where I’m living, you know, it’s very, religious and but at the same time it’s like they can embrace that aspect of as well. So it’s like it’s become integrated into this the city. So I’ll share more about that. It may be like some pictures or something. But I just wanted to mention that.

 

Kate (1:01:51)

So beautiful. Yeah. Yeah. I love that. And I think let’s just close with that exactly. Like embrace your weird, celebrate it. It’s beautiful. Don’t let anyone tell you any different. you know, live into that some more, explore it because it could change your life to really, really embody it, own it, celebrate it, live it. So Amanda, thank you for an amazing conversation. I look forward to chatting with you again soon. Yeah, you’re welcome. Thanks everyone for listening.