Surviving the Darkness: Ahna Hendrix's Awakening

Kate (00:00)

Welcome back to the Awakening Conversations podcast. My name is Kate. I’m here with my cohost Amanda. And today we are joined by a very special human, Ahna Hendrix Ahna is here to share with us her incredible story of awakening. Ahna Hendrix believes that when we invest in ourselves, the world benefits. She is a divine luminary whose work as a spiritual guide, Akashic soul channel, educator, energy healer and podcaster, dedicates herself to reintroducing the world to its spirituality through the Akashic records, Akashic transformational mentorships and workshops and courses designed to empower individuals to take the reins and transform their lives. Ahna is also the host of the Soul Driven Podcast, something you definitely need to check out. A weekly podcast that explores the intersection of living a soulful and spiritual life in a driven and ambitious world. So join her for practical guidance, truthful discussions, and interviews with people who are successfully living a soul driven life. Ahna, welcome to the Awakening Conversations podcast.

Ahna Hendrix (01:09)

Thank you so much for having me. It’s nice to be on this side of the mic. 

Kate (01:13)

Yeah, different experience. So Ahna, we are really excited to have you on here today. Because from what we understand about your awakening journey, this has been a real cracking open of your life. And as we’ve sort of tried to had in our early discussions, you know, this was not just a one time deal for you where you’ve had this experience and then you know, that’s it, and life then goes on a trajectory. It seems that your life was sort of like one long series of events that kind of really was an unfolding and “ripping “⁓ open process for you. So we would like to begin to share your story so that we can help listeners begin to identify within their own lives or own experiences, you know, things like perhaps what you’ve experienced so that they can understand how these are awakening moments. Can you begin to share with us as best you can, because we know this is a big story,⁓ what your journey with awakening really has been and you know, this, this process of ripping open to awaken.

Ahna Hendrix (02:27)

Yes, absolutely. Thanks again for having me. I’m very much looking forward to this and also a little bit intimidated as to like how you summarize a story like this. And I think that I’m probably not alone in that. It’s not like I’m special. I think a lot of people feel that way. Kind of like, how do I encapsulate all of the many things that I went through or felt in my process? You know, it’s not like a, it’s not a one sentence summary, that’s for sure.

I think what’s important in regards to my story is to kind of set it up with a bit of background, a bit of context in regards to just kind of who I am. I really was born into this lifetime knowing God and having a relationship with God. And when I use the term God, it’s not connected to any kind of religion whatsoever. To me, God was and is always just love, simply that. I did grow up in a Christian household, and that was certainly through the lens of which, I experienced a lot of, you know, culture around religion growing up. But for me, there were so many issues within the church, even from a very young age, that it wasn’t ever, you know, something that I took verbatim or fully lived my life, you know, aligned with. Again, there were just lots of issues, lots of things I didn’t agree with.

So I spent a lot of my life being in deep communion with God. I saw angels when I was young. I did grow up in a non -denominational church. So I saw the laying on of hands. I saw miracles happen. I saw a lot of really incredible things occur. But again, I was viewing a lot of this through the lens of Christianity. And as I grow up, my kind of way of being. I was always in communication with God. We were always talking. I was always praying. You know, to me, I use the pronoun he as well. And that’s just for me personally, that’s always, you know, kind of the essence of the energy and the way it’s felt to me. But he was just kind of my best friend, always there for me, always someone that I could talk to, yell at, cuss at, wherever I was at in the midst of my journey.

Ahna Hendrix (04:39)

And of course, as I got older, my relationship with God really changed and evolved. But I was always so curious about people’s spiritual path and about their relationship with God. When I turned 21 and was hanging out in bars, I was like, tell me about your relationship with God. What do you think of God? I never had any intention of winning anyone over. I was abhorrent by any kind of that behavior because I really felt like, how each one of us experience God is such a personal experience. No one can say what’s right or wrong for anyone else. And that certainly is not anything I’ve ever been, wanted to do or even felt like doing.

And so spirituality has always been a core tenant in my life and a deep part of who I was. But again, I saw a lot of life through the lens of Christianity.And even though I was like the most liberal Christian, you know, that I ever met, still there was so many things that really kept me back and prevented me. And I would say that, you know, once I got into my teens and older years, I was really upset with life. I felt bored by it, honestly. It was like really just like go to school and go to college and like get married and have kids. Like, you know, I was always looking for more. I was really looking for that magic. I knew that there was like, some sort of something there, but I couldn’t connect with it. And there was this deep knowing inside of me. It was like, life is really gonna unfold for you right around the age of 40.

Ahna Hendrix (06:15)

And in my mid thirties, things really started shifting and evolving for me in regards to my spiritual relationship. I read the book, A Conversation with God, which just totally flipped my lid. Highly recommend for anyone out there.

I got involved with the yoga community, which I was just like, man, you know, like I never felt like in the Christian community that these people really knew God, but the yoga community, they’re walking around with their crystals and their weird stuff. And I was just like, this feels like love to me more than anything I ever experienced in the Christian community. And so it really had me asking all of these questions, you know, because I had never felt like I belonged to a tribe or to a group at any point in my life.

But I felt like amongst the yogis, if you will, that like they were most aligned with what I was looking for or what was in my heart.

I’ve been an entrepreneur for over 12 years now at this point. I had a marketing agency and I actually started a second business in 2016 that really was kind of a culmination of a lot of the work and seeking that I was doing at that point in time in my life.

I’d always been someone who was looking for my purpose and always asking God, like, what is my purpose? What am I here to do? As so many of us do, right? I’m sure that like pretty much anyone who listens to this podcast has asked that question before. And I started creating a retail business and it finally connected me with my first inklings of my purpose. And that was the most like lit up that I had ever been in my entire life. And I fully threw myself into this business, you know, heart, mind, soul, spirit, just everything. I looked forward to it every day and I gave it every bit of myself. And unfortunately, what we were doing in this business, we were far ahead of our time. And towards the end of 2018, I realized that I had to shut down this business. And for me, that was the most heartbreaking thing that I had experienced to date.

Because again, it was so fully connected to my purpose. I felt like I was changing lives. I felt like we were really making a difference. There was so much in that and I had believed so fully with like every bit of my being that I was doing the right thing and on the right course and realized that I wasn’t. And that intense heartbreak matched with a little challenge that I joined with a group of friends. It was a 90 day no drinking challenge. I was never an alcoholic, but I certainly used alcohol to what I considered make life more fun, you know, make me a little bit more publicly digestible, if you will, a little bit less strange and, you know, more normal. And, and I, my relationship had really gotten out of hand, especially towards the end of 2018, when I was, you know, shutting down this business, cause I was so heartbroken. I was so depressed.

And it was really that combination of this massive heartbreak and then the sobriety that just completely blew the hinges off of my spirituality. I literally changed so fast, it’s wild for me to even look back and kind of wrap my mind around. I mean, December of 2018, I would have never picked up a tarot deck. I thought there was some weirdness attached to it. And by March of 2019, I had my first deck. It was a wild ride, all of 2019. All of a sudden, I was, within that first month of sobriety, I was questioning everything. And by the third month, I really felt like I was a completely different person. I was so open to things that I had never been open to, and I couldn’t get enough of it.

And I feel like this is definitely something all of us experienced. We go through that period on our spiritual awakening, we’re just like, this and that, that and this. And I dove into all the crystals and I was learning all kinds of things. And my father really was very concerned about me in the very beginning of it because again, he had always kind of known me to be this very grounded centered person and very strong in my relationship with God. And he’s open -minded enough to understand that that wasn’t necessarily just within the confines of like a Christian focal point. But, you know, all of a sudden I was talking about these very metaphysical things. And, you know, it made me realize like, okay, I need to really anchor in and find my, you know, kind of like my boundaries, my guardrails for this process. And so I promised myself from the beginning, you know, like, whatever I come across, if it is rooted in love, as I believe God to be love, then I am open to it. And if it is not, then I am not open to it. It’s just not for me. And, you know, 2019 was awesome. It was, I definitely went through some difficult times, you know, just kind of like questioning like what was going on. But at the same time, I was coming into so much that was new and exciting and different that, you know, it was just kind of like, the band aid had been ripped off and I was in a totally new playground. And this magic that I had been searching for was all of a sudden starting to pop up everywhere. And that was really exciting for me. And at the very beginning of 2020, well, I should say at the end of 2019 was when I came across these words, Akashic Records. And for me, it was like this coming home.

I mean, literally, you know, like in the movies where like time stops and there’s some really good music in the background. But I was the CEO of a marketing agency at the time and I had no concept or understanding for what the Akashic Records were. I thought you had to be some kind of wizard or something, you know, like super just I didn’t even know how to fully explain it.

Ahna Hendrix (12:21)

And so I put it away. And of course, it wouldn’t go. I mean, it was like popping up on ads on Facebook, like crazy things that I’ve never even seen since. And at the very beginning of 2020, I started working with the Akashic Records. And I believe for me that that is really when my full spiritual awakening started happening and things started getting very real and very difficult and very hard. And that process of spiritual awakening you know, it was a cracking open and taking me fully out of the life that I had, you know, the track that I had been on as a CEO of a marketing agency into this work that I’m doing now as a spiritual guide. And in order for that to occur, everything had to be broken apart. And for the next several years, you know, I went through bankruptcy. I lost the majority of my friends. I mean, I contemplated suicide two different times and was actually very close to it. Just a number of things happened. And so I’ll just kind of pause there, because again, it’s a big story, but the kind of like coming into the metaphysical world, which is I call my spiritual awakening a metaphysical awakening, because I’ve always felt spiritual. But I think that first part of it for us, at least certainly for me, was just a lot of fun. And then when things started getting real, that’s when I feel like that’s when my true spiritual awakening began.

Amanda (13:58)

Thanks for diving in and explaining it in such an enjoyable way to listen to. You speak very clearly and a lot came up and what I’m hearing is that, what I’ve come to see from many of the conversations that we’ve had is this,we go through life and we take on an identity and maybe that doesn’t align with what our soul is ultimately here to do, right? Maybe our soul chose that for a reason, but it’s like we have to, and we get attached to that identity, right?

Maybe we do things to fit into society, right? Like you mentioned being publicly digestible, the drinking to allow you to fit into like maybe what we think is normal. And a lot of us, and Kate and I have had a conversation about, our weirdness, right? Like owning our authenticity, our uniqueness. And for a lot of us, that’s hard to do in normal society. And maybe doing that long enough, we start to forget who we truly are. And it’s like something has to happen to allow us to release that identity that we’ve clung onto. And sometimes it has to be so extreme to like pull us off a path, to pull us on to in a different direction. And it sounds like you had a lot of things that pulled you to get you to where you are now and where you are going. Also, when mentioned suicide and that’s also come up on other episodes with other guests. And I wanna just acknowledge that this is not an easy process and sometimes it’s hard and we question like, why are we even here? I have listened to, just on a podcast I listened to recently, the woman shared how she did try to commit suicide and her angels essentially sent her back, said, no, you chose this hard life and we’re gonna heal you and send you back because you have more work to do. And so, I think many of us with missions sometimes it feels, it can feel, we forget why we came here, right? And so thank you for leading us up to this point. I’m curious, maybe, you know, you gave us a good intro. It sounds like things started to move and then maybe,easier direction for you eventually. Do you want to continue with the path? I’m interested to see like from there to where you are now.

Ahna Hendrix (16:41)

Yeah. So, you know, I think again, there’s so much of the story that it’s like trying to summarize what led up to that, that big event and that occurrence. And, you know, I think for me, I was in marketing again for over, over a decade and I enjoyed my work, but the way that I look at that work is that it was like my fated path. You know, I think we all have like a fated path. It’s like kind of like our 3D path, you know, that thing that we can do that maybe we kind of enjoy and that we’re good at, right? But it wasn’t fulfilling. It didn’t like, it didn’t connect with my soul. And back in 2016 was when I really started looking for something to do that, you know, because I wanted, I wanted to make a difference in some way, you know, I was just making money for people with big businesses and you know, like that was just, it was soul sucking in a way. And that was really where my second business, came out of and that for me again was so fulfilling. But even that, you know, the longer that I was in it, I realized like it wasn’t my full fulfillment either, that there was something more for me, right? And so in 2019, when things started shifting and I went through that period, because I had stepped back into my marketing agency at that point and I was working with clients in a completely different way than I ever had before, which was more fulfilling, but again, still not. And that was like, painfully obvious for me throughout 2019. There were days when I would just like sit on the couch and do absolutely nothing. And that’s like the opposite of how I am and how I’m built. And I started, you know, I didn’t know what to do with myself. I didn’t know what was going on. And I was starting to get really uncomfortable in my life with how it was set up. But I had no idea of what I could do from that point. Like, I mean, you know, I, I, even started looking for a job because I was just like, well, maybe I’ll just work for someone else. Like, I don’t know what to do. And of course I would, you know, I’ve been the CEO for years and years and years and I would go for these job interviews and they’re like, uh-huh. I was literally told twice, like, a) you would either intimidate our other teammates or b) like you’re too qualified or I just didn’t fit in anywhere. It was such a frustrating process.

Ahna Hendrix (19:09)

And that’s, I believe, kind of where the pain started coming from, you know? And when I started working with the Akashic Records, for me, it was such a homecoming, and yet I had no clue what I was doing. I went through some trainings in the very beginning, but quite frankly, like, they weren’t very helpful for me. And I had, like, immediately after I opened the records for myself the very first time, I booked a session with another reader. And she, you know, cause I wanted to understand what this connection was for me. And she was just like, look, you’ve been reading the Akashic records for lifetimes. This is like your second language and it’s going to play a really huge role in this lifetime for you. And that was wild for me to hear because I had this like innate knowing, right? This like connection, but I had no idea what that was.

And so I went through these trainings and I started, you know, I was like showing up every day, just kind of going in for myself while I was doing these other trainings. You know, I was like getting certified in Reiki and angel healing and all of these different modalities that were of curiosity to me. But of course the Akasha was like home base. And as I started working with the Akasha more, they started leading me and teaching me about how to start making decisions.

I had also started my podcast at the beginning of that year in March. And I mean, it initially was meant to be like a spiritual business podcast. And then we went into the, you know, the pandemic and my guides were like, nah, we’re going to go in this direction. And all of a sudden I was like interviewing shamans and you know, these types of people and things were just really messy. And right around the beginning of 20 or the middle of 2020, my guides were like, you need to start doing a lot more readings for other people, like not charging. Like they just wanted me to practice. And I thought that they were helping me to really hone my skills, you know, because when I came to the Akasha, like I had zero interest in reading for others. Like I didn’t even read that part in the book. I just, it was all for me. I wanted to know more about me. I wanted to heal myself. I want to understand the world.

And so I was like, okay, so I started doing all these practice readings for people. And, you know, then all of a sudden my guides were like, now we want you to start doing a forecast on your podcast, which was just like, what? I literally remember when this came in, like through, I was in the shower and they were like, yeah, you’re going to do a forecast. And I was like, me? I can’t do a forecast. And as soon as I said that, I was like, why can’t I? You know, it was just like, whatever, I’m going to go for it.

And then, and by the fall, they wanted me to start doing readings for other people and they wanted me to start charging. And at that point in time, they really came forward and were like, this is the work that you’re gonna be doing. You’re gonna become a spiritual guide. And they were like, you know, you’re gonna be working with the Akasha. And that for me was just like, hell no. That was again, when things really started cracking open.

In the middle of 2020, like my business started dying off, my marketing agency. And I have to tell you that since I had gotten into marketing, I didn’t ever struggle with finding clients because for whatever reason, the right people always came to me. I had an incredible referral rate. People loved working with me. I was an incredible marketer that was never an issue. And all of a sudden things started being really hard. And so there was like this going on, but then also, you know, these, these guides are like, you’re gonna become a spiritual guide. And I’m like, okay, how the heck am I gonna pay my bills doing that? How am I even going to like, you know, life? Like, what are you talking about? I’m used to making good money in marketing, you know, and now I’m gonna do like one -off readings, like what? I just couldn’t wrap my mind around it. And quite frankly, I wanted nothing to do with it. And that really kicked off a period of about four months of me drinking.

Like, I mean, literally I would start drinking like at noon. I was running in every possible way that I could from this. I wanted nothing to do with it. You know, it was just like, no, no, no. I’m going to keep focusing on my agency. Like I came up with these new strategies and these new offerings. And I mean, like built out all of these different systems so that we could like launch this at the beginning of 2021. Nobody bought it. Again, that’s never happened.

And I had all of these people who are interested in it, who wanted it. And it was just like, my gosh, that started, you know, for me, that was huge. That was a big heartbreak because I didn’t understand what was going on, why I was starting to lose my business. And, you know, again, wanting nothing to do with being a spiritual guide. At the very, you know, by February of 2021, they were just like freaking beating down my door and you know, in their nice way. But they just wouldn’t go away. They wouldn’t just stop, like they just would not stop talking to me about it. Like through everyone who would come into my life and everything that I was hearing, it was just like, And so I was like, fine, I’ll put it on my website. I’m not promoting anything. I’m not doing anything. This is gonna have to be totally you. And it was crazy because I had this one reading that I did with this shaman. And she was so blown away that she like brought me all of her clients. And I was just inundated for a good two months, which was really helpful because, you know, like my business had been fully starting to shut down on me. And I was just like, how am I going to make money? How am I going to get by with this? And through that time period, I realized how important this work was.

You know, I think for me on the front end, just thinking about like, you know, the logistics of it, like that wasn’t enough to get me involved. It was only when I actually started doing readings for people and seeing how much it changed their life and assisted them that it was like, my gosh, I think that this is, I think that this could maybe be it, you know, but something that’s really important to my story also to take into account is like, I’m coming from this very corporate background. And so I didn’t have … like my trust for the Akasha was still, you know, I was still very sort of like, like I’m not someone who just, you know, I love people who ask questions when it comes to spirituality because we should ask questions. We should be discerning. You know, we shouldn’t just accept what someone else says to us. And I was still so new to the Akasha that I was not fully sold on what was happening yet. Throughout 2021, 2021 was like probably the hardest year of my entire life because I fully, you know, my agency, I just straight up stopped landing clients. I couldn’t for the life of myself. The readings eventually dried out because at that point they wanted me to start getting involved. Also, they were taking me through some really hard lessons. I ended up having to get a job at a Lash and Brow studio as a front desk girl, which Ahna is not a front desk girl. I of course got fired because you know, when people are rude, that’s just not something I’m going to ignore. And you know, so many lessons were taken through that period, but everything was breaking in my life. And then that fall, this person showed up at my front door and let me know that one of the credit card companies from my second business was coming after me to sue me. And they were going to not just sue me personally, but also sue my marketing agency.

And so at that point, my only course or my only, what is it? Recourse, my only, whatever I could do about it was to file for bankruptcy. And this was a company like, you have to understand through the midst of this, I was doing everything to pay them as much as I could every month. And I was paying them every month, but I wasn’t paying them as much as they wanted. And, you know, I had always lived my life according to what I love. Money’s never been a driver for me.

But when I had to shut down that business, I had this debt. And so that part of my life as well became very difficult because all of a sudden I was having to make decisions according to like how much money I was going to make, which is like walking through life with your hands tied behind your back. And for me was like completely soul sucking. You know, I’d already lost what I thought was my purpose. Then I had to step back into my marketing, which again, felt very soul sucking. But then all my decisions were like focused around money.

And it was really difficult for me. And so it was like, I went through this bankruptcy and I had so much beautiful guidance through it and was just really given a lot of grace in that process. But it was really difficult for me. Someone who’s, you know, always done her best to pay bills, always, you know, you know, I’m the responsible, like, I’m going to take care of my business type of type of person. And I realized in that process that that was the only thing that was going to enable me to clear the slate so that I actually could start stepping into this work. But again, throughout that entire year, I lost the majority of my friends. They didn’t want anything to do with me anymore because of the work that I was stepping into. The relationship with my mother completely dissipated. She is fundamentalist Christian and she just was sickened by what I was doing. Very confused by it, like basically would just refuse to ever ask me how I was doing when we would talk because she didn’t want me talking about any of that. And a lot of really painful things happened. I had a very challenging introduction to the spiritual community. I had some people like, you know, really come behind my back who were envious of my work, who put spells on me, who spread all of these like, vicious rumors about me in the local community where I was at, just a number of wild things happened. And it just felt like one slap across the face across the other. And throughout the entirety of it, I couldn’t find my footing. I couldn’t find my standing, you know, in regards to where I was at in life and like what I was doing. I couldn’t see the future and I’ve always been able to kind of see where I’m going. And it felt like I was like, on this flimsy sort of path, like what the hell is a spiritual guide? Like what am I gonna, you know? It was beyond heartbreaking. My relationship at the time was really struggling as well because he was someone who, you know, I had realized had a addiction to smoking weed. And of course, through my spiritual evolution, all of a sudden I couldn’t stand to be around it. I couldn’t stand to be around him.

You know, after my second Reiki attunement, I realized energetically we were in completely different places. And yet I was kind of trapped because financially I couldn’t just like up and leave. And there were just so many different factors. I can’t even, like the more I talk, like the more they’re like ding, ding, ding, ding, and this and this, you know, I could just probably go on for a hot minute. And…

Ahna Hendrix (30:44)

That was, again, 2021 was the hardest year of my life. And through that period, I really, it was, you know, the first time that I contemplated suicide was in 2019. Well, it was actually at the very end of 2018 in the midst of, again, just losing this business that I just, you know, had put my heart and soul into. And then the second time was in the midst of 2021. And for me, it was very much like, I just, what was the point? I was learning all this stuff about the metaphysical world. And I think that everyone who goes through a spiritual awakening gets to that place where you’re like, what is the point? Like, I don’t understand why I’m doing this. I don’t understand why I’m going through this. And everything in my world, it was like, I couldn’t look around. I didn’t have a steady base anywhere. My partner was probably the person that was the most steadiest in my life. And yet I fully disagreed with where he was at in his life. And  energetically, I didn’t feel close or aligned with him. And he still thought I was pretty weird and was a little bit concerned about what I might be bringing into the house energetically. And it was just, I only had my relationship with God through that period. And quite frankly, if I hadn’t had that, then you know, like because there were times that I like physically harmed myself on my wrist because I was just like, I couldn’t get out of the feeling, you know, like I came to understand like why people cut themselves. I’d never known that before, but it’s like you get into such a state. It’s like you cut yourself to remind yourself that you’re alive, you know, you’re to remember like, yo, to like cut off that feeling of like just total disparity and total loss. And it was, you know, the lowest of low point for me.

And I can say that, you know, besides my relationship with God, the number one thing that brought me out of that was a gratitude practice, which was also what helped me get out of the first one. And I mean, that’s why I preach gratitude. Like I’ve done so many podcasts and blogs and videos and like, you know, it’s because man, we can’t get lost in our mind. You know, we cannot allow the mind to take over.

And I think for people going through a spiritual awakening, when we get to those lower places, like that is such a powerful tool. I think, you know, a lot of people view it as kind of like corny, but my gosh, is it powerful? And so, yeah, let me pause there. Because again, there’s like, there’s so much more, but you know, that was the hardest part for me, for sure.

Kate (33:18)

And thank you so much for sharing so openly, vulnerably, you know, that part of your journey, because, you know, what a ripping open, you know, what a cracking open. I really appreciate you sharing so candidly, because I think, you know, people can really understand themselves and their own experiences. And what I really hear you saying to you, you know, this process is that you know, and I, I feel like I found this in my own journey, not to the extremes that you went through there, but that, you know, when we do have this purpose and let’s even say, as Amanda mentioned before, like a mission here, we do ask that question. What is my purpose? Right. And we are seeking to know that. And we, even you having your marketing business, that’s a massive part of it, right? There was a sense of purpose there until there wasn’t. And then, and then, life continues down a path, which then seems like shit’s falling apart and like it’s gone to hell. However, that is exactly part of the path as well, because that cracking open, that ripping apart, all of the places you go to within yourself is the next part of what comes out after that. It’s like that descent and you know, going into the fire to then be, you know, unburdened, you know, what’s another word like have all of those things that your business taken away, your friends taken away and like to strip you back to the purest part of who am I and, and what that deepest calling is. And like, that is not an easy process. That is a painful process.

Ahna Hendrix (35:09)

You know, I think some of the most important lessons for me up until that point were number one, losing my identity. Like you mentioned, we have this identity in regards to who we think we are. But as long as we think we know who we are, when it’s tied to a material identity, we can’t step into what we’re fully capable of, you know, because we’re so tied to that identity. And I fully saw myself as a CEO, as a marketing exec, as a leader of a team, as all of these different things. And so I saw myself really wrapped up in that identity. The second part of that was I based my worth on my achievement and my output. And I, again, like me sitting around on a couch, like that was not a thing. I did not do that. I’ve always been someone who’s multitasked and very passionate about what I’m doing and very busy and always have multiple things going on. And I placed so much of my worth in that. And my agency was extremely successful, you know, and we were known for our quality and our abilities. And again, that was all of my worth and value. And I had to be stripped of that. I had to learn that my worth and value is inherent. I don’t have to do anything. You know, so much of that ripping away of my business and my friends and my life, you know, the way that that looked was this reminder that like, no, no, no, honey, you are worthy as you are, period. There’s nothing that you can do to increase your worth and there’s nothing that you can do to diminish it, you know? And then I think a third really huge lesson at that point was when I stepped into the spiritual community, for whatever reason, I was so naive.

And I didn’t realize that there would be people that I also needed to protect myself from, just like I had in the Christian community or in the marketing community or in any of these other communities. There was this, I don’t know what there was. I don’t know if I thought it was light and love. I don’t know what I thought it was, but I was abruptly, that perspective was changed from the get -go. I mean, literally the first person who stepped forward for me, who I thought was going to be a mentor, ended up being the person who stabbed me in the back the worst and spread all these rumors about me and did these things to me. And it was such a powerful lesson because it again, it reminded me like, I need to be discerning about who I’m around. I need to be discerning about who I open myself up to. And there had already been these like red flags for me, but there was this mindset of like, no, no, because she was this epic person who had been in it for decades, who had all of this experience, who like, you know, like had this title and whatever. And so foolishly, I opened myself up to it. And so it was such a good lesson for me, you know, to come into that. So absolutely throughout this process, it was so painful, but every bit of it was teaching me something to improve me for what I’m doing now. The way that I look at my overall experience honestly was like such a huge humbling. And the way that I define humbleness is just us being ourselves. Whatever it is that we are, like that’s true humbleness. It’s not just giving of ourselves to everyone else and serving everybody. Like that’s not being humble. Being humble is just being whoever we are.

And I had all of these ideas about who I was and I had all of these identities and these labels and they had to all be ripped apart in order for me to get to the full center of who I am.

Amanda (39:02)

Yeah, I think we’ve talked about humility before and it being a big part of the path, right? Like where our ego is running the show, right? Like sometimes we have to get knocked down a little bit to see what’s on the other side of that and to really allow us to see that we are both special and not special at the same time, right? Like we’re all, everyone’s special and every, you know, no one is more special than the other. And so sometimes we have to have, I’m not saying necessarily that’s what you were doing, but like the ego, right? The ego is in a, wherever it’s running the show, we have an experience to, you know, have a different perspective from where we’re coming from. And what I wanted to say about the community piece, it’s, I think for me, for my own experience, I’ve never been able to fully integrate into a community because I feel that by doing so, I’m in a way, not rejecting, but I’m not fully being in alignment with my true self when I allow myself to merge with a group, right? There’s a lot of group think. There’s a lot of power structure dynamics that I’d say in like the old, like the 3D way of doing things, there’s a lot of politics. And so in a way for myself, I’ve come to learn that like I’m not meant to merge fully with groups, how they currently exist in our world. And so in a way that can be a protective mechanism to say like, yes, you can like be a part, but not at the expense of leaving my own path to go on a path with the community as they exist right now, right? Like I think where we’re going in our collective trajectory is gonna be more about learning how to be in community, how to be self -responsible. And so we’re starting to learn, I think, a little bit better and that’s through discernment, like who can we trust? Who can we, like what are those power dynamics and structures.

So when you’re talking about your identity, what came up for me is that we choose an identity because we fear something, right? Like I fear bankruptcy, so I’m going to do the opposite. Like I’m going to be ambitious and I’m going to, and in order to be, as long as we have that fear, we can’t be free in our life. We can’t, cause that fear is always underlying our, what we’re doing and in a way, we can look at it as we have to face that fear in order to become free, right? So by having the experience by going there, while it’s terrible, it sounds like you’ve seen who you truly are and you’re not, you’re not, the bankruptcy does not define who you are. That’s not your worth. That’s not, who you are as a soul. Yeah, but if we have a fear that we don’t want to, that we want to ignore, right? The universe, God has a way of allowing us to come face to face so that we can go beyond it and not have that fear rule us, if that makes sense.

Ahna Hendrix (42:25)

Yeah, I think, you know, our fears are honestly some of our most powerful invitations in regards to our evolution as a soul, you know. And for me, my fears were that life was just what I saw, that there was no magic. My fears were that, you know, I wouldn’t, that I wasn’t special.

My fears were that I wouldn’t succeed at whatever it was that I was doing, that I didn’t have any worth and value unless I was succeeding in my life. And through the process of my spiritual awakening, I look back now and I’m just, there’s no amount of money on the planet that would let, I would go back through that again. Just none. But no amount of money, no amount of like anything, I’m like, nope, I’m out. Maybe next lifetime, maybe. But I can look back and literally everything, every little thing that popped up, every difficult thing that I went through taught me such an important lesson for what I’m doing now. The Ahna who was in 2019 could not handle what she’s doing now. She would not be acting in integrity. She wouldn’t be doing right by her clients simply because she didn’t have the depth and the maturity and the compassion to be able to do it, what I’m doing now. And I look back at her and I just want to give her a hug and be like, girl, buckle in. Because it was hard, it was really hard. And yet every bit of it served a purpose.

You know, when I work with people now who are going through those spiritual awakenings, like that is my, that is the thing that I try to, you know, like share with them the most is just that like, you know, we hear it all the time. Everything serves a purpose. And I think that in some ways we minimize that it goes in one ear and out the other because we hear it so much, but it’s such a truth, you know, like literally everything. And honestly, the most painful things that we go through are the most powerful things that we go through. We don’t expand in life when it’s all going good. It just doesn’t happen. That’s why basically every spiritual awakening comes through some sort of painful event, whether it’s physical or mental or spiritual, whatever it is. It’s not just like one day you wake up and you’re like, my gosh, I’m going through a spiritual awakening. It just doesn’t happen that way.

It also made me really strong and what I needed to be was really strong because again, I came from a completely different background, you know, and it really took me until last year, until 2023 to realize that I hadn’t fully stepped into this path, that I hadn’t fully said, I’m a spiritual guide and owned that for myself. And I trust the Akasha with my freaking life. I had to go through so much of that so that I could truly embody that so that it comes through my work now, it comes through everything that I’m doing now. It just wouldn’t have happened any other way. And so I’m really, really grateful for it, but it’s not for the faint of heart. And I don’t think that that’s why I’m thankful that you all are doing this podcast, because through the midst of it, I had, I had nobody and I had nobody to talk to about what I was going through. And thankfully, spiritual awakenings are much more of, we’re more aware of this topic now and there’s a lot more information out online and all of that. And I think that’s powerful because people will be able to find more of the support that they need so they don’t just feel like their life is, I don’t even know what.

Kate (46:39)

Yeah. Beyond like falling apart, like, you know, from what you’ve described, like you really, you had to go all the way in, you know, and, and, you know, really just, I keep getting the word reckon with yourself and reckon with these parts of self to come to that, to that place of like on your knees, surrender. All right. I’m going to accept this new path and I’m going to trust because, okay, I’ve still got to put, you know, money in the bank to pay the bills. I’ve got to live a life that, you know, is completely different to what I was doing before. Like there’s, we’ve talked about this quite a lot. Like there’s a surrendering and the deepest trust, but I think that’s a beautiful thing that comes from our spiritual awakenings is knowing that there is more to our life than, you know, what we’ve been, we’ve been trained to believe is going on and, and how we often live up until that point. And when we do take our hands off grabbing onto those external things as ways of being who we were and surrender to the fact that actually, you know, and I always see it as like, what’s going on behind me? Cause we’re always like this back here. Like that’s where the show’s being run. Like all the things that make this happen, it’s happening back there. So if we could like take those blinkers off and like, I always want to like lean back and like zoom back and push that image of what my life is meant to be like out there. As if we were at the back of the theater.

And then check out who else is in there. You’re like, my God, like, look at the, the, the forces, energies, guides, whatnots, higher self here, making that thing over there happen. Like, Whoa, how, you know, once we get through the hard parts, it’s like, this is freaking amazing, you know, to, to truly be able to come to see, know, feel experience the true grandness of what it is to be a spiritual being, having a human experience, when we are able to connect with that other side and, you know, through the Akashic records and, you know, we can come to experience it. So, you know, I want to just tap in and explain to people that are listening, because this is the first time we’ve mentioned the Akashic records. The Akashic records are the energetic record of our soul and a place that we can connect to who we are and, and, everything else that’s connected to that. And, you know, you mentioned when you, first connected with it, it was like a homecoming. I’ve also, you know, read the Akashic records and that was the exact feeling for me was when I first opened a record to read for someone else, cause that was the practice we did. Didn’t really feel it when I did it for myself. It was like the needle of the record, like dropping into the record. And I was like, this is the part of me that I’ve, that’s been missing that I didn’t have the connection to. And all of a sudden my world just started to like expand. And I got a couple of rows back in that theater and was like, wait a second, wait a second. You know? And so, you know, whether people have that deeper experience of being able to see life. But I think generally that is where we’re heading. We’re heading through our awakenings to this place where we do see the truth of who we are, the truth of what’s going on here.

And, and, you know, these, these powerful experiences, these challenging experiences, these fear, this pain, this ripping apart of our life is the revealing of that. And so, you know, the work that you’re doing with the Akashic Records has been a major catalyst in your life. And can you speak to how that’s really, you know, the beautiful side and the gifts that have come from that, from that surrender, from that acceptance of, okay, this is my path now, you know, where are you in this moment? You know, having walked that fire, having been through that transformation.

Ahna Hendrix (50:30)

Hmm. You know, I, as I mentioned before, I literally spent my life looking for my purpose. And again, I don’t think it was really until last year in 2023, when I realized like, I found it. Like, I’m here. Like, I’ve arrived, you know, like, I finally connected with it. Now, of course, there’s a million things I want to do on top of that, right? And figuring out exactly how that’s gonna look, I don’t know. It’s this beautiful experiment that I’m still in the midst of and I’m still learning through. I’m so thankful for my guides within the Akasha because, you know, like I went to this event a couple of weeks ago and met this woman who’s also a business owner and a psychic and all this stuff. And she was like, who’s your mentor? Like who has taught you? And I was like, my guides. You know, like I haven’t, I haven’t had the privilege of working with or finding that human. And I don’t think that we all do, you know, I would have loved to, but it’s never worked for me. But my guides have been leading me step by step through this entire process, you know, launch this thing, create this thing, do this thing. And it’s this continuation of learning how to be led when like your girl likes to lead, so just continued humbling in that process of learning what’s going on. But for me right now, I’ve actually put my podcast on a break this summer because it’s really time for me to fully dive into my business and to give my business my full attention right now. I stepped away from doing one -on -one readings because the work that I was doing in my one -on -one readings, while it was incredible, I am someone who likes to go deep,if that’s not obvious. And I wanted to really start focusing on going deep. And so I fully shifted into my Akashic Transformational Mentorships and every session we’re in the Akasha, we’re working with guides and higher selves. And I mean, they are, it’s the most powerful work I’ve done to date. And I have done, you know, coaching for gosh, probably eight years or so. And, you know, even back when I had my marketing agency and I had, started doing some mentorships early on when I stepped into my spiritual work, but I stepped away from them twice because quite frankly, like they just didn’t feel right. And at the beginning of this year, my guides came through and were like, we are redesigning this and this is how you’re gonna be doing it moving forward. And they are just so powerful. I’m gonna be launching a membership in the next month or two, which I’m so excited about. Like I am all about community. I’ve always been about community. I tried to launch a community in 2021 and it was not the time. Another very sad, upsetting, angry, frustrating experience for Ahna in the midst of that journey. But for me, community has always been so massive because I think that I grew up always feeling alone. And anytime I was able to be amongst community where I felt like I could be myself, it was the most incredible thing.

And I believe that when people come together, that’s when we are our best. You know, even when I had my marketing agency, every one of us, like everyone on my team was brilliant. But when we came together, like, holy crap, did we do incredible things, you know? And over the course of the years, or over the past couple of years, every time I’ve launched a course, I’ve had a community component. And that’s where some of the most powerful work is done. You know, it’s like, I get to hold space for people to just show up and be themselves. And then like, that’s where the magic occurs. And so I’m very excited about that. I’ve got a couple of courses coming out this fall that I’m just like, I can’t wait. I’m gonna be launching my in -depth Akashic record course, which this is like the culmination of all of the things that I’ve learned, not just how to work within the Akasha, but how to do restoration sessions, which is what I call my energy healing sessions, but you know, it’s like the course that I would have wanted to take because I took so many trainings and quite frankly, like that, like, wham bam, thank you, ma ‘am, you know, like here in 24 hours, like that is not, you know, the Akasha is esoteric and it takes time to really feel comfortable. And, you know, it’s just it’s the course that I would have loved to take. You know, I’m a first line in human design. And so again, I like to go deep.

So I’m really excited about that. And I’ve also got this other incredible course that I’m gonna be launching. I don’t even know that I can call it a course. It’s probably gonna be like a two or three month container because I am going to be walking people through fully reconnecting with their body, learning how to listen to their body, learning how to intuitively eat, learning how to intuitively take care of their body. This is not like a nutrition thing. This is not anything like that.

And the reason that the container is going to be longer lasting is because of course that work takes time. But because I believe that our body is the greatest gift that we’ve been given and that when we are in alignment with our body, like, holy freaking crap, does life, it’s just on a whole different level. And I’ve already launched, taken through two different cohorts of an Akasha journey with the body which was my first kind of course, but this is gonna be sort of like very focused on the practical. So I’m really excited about that. There’s just a number of things that are kind of in the works right now that I’m really looking forward to. Right now I’m in the middle of the confidence series. We’ve only got a couple of weeks left and that’s just been phenomenal, you know, helping people to reconnect with their inherent confidence and, you know, diving into the things that hold them back. It’s powerful work.

And all of my courses are fully channeled from the Akasha. And so the work that I get to do, you know, I love it because these are not like, I don’t teach courses from a place of like, I know it all more so like, I’m also healing in this process. And you know, my guides are like, yeah, you’re going to continue, you know, like we’re taking you on this journey because you need to be a part of this as well. So I’m very, very engaged from that level in any of my containers, you know, so lots of really exciting things with the Akasha. I’m just forever grateful. So just kind of in awe of the fact that this is my life and just trying to take it day by day right now and not get too ahead of myself.

Amanda (57:23)

It’s quite exciting to hear where you were and to see how much excitement and purpose that you speak about what you are stepping into, what you have stepped into and what you’re moving into. I can feel that. So thank you for sharing with us. And you’ve got me more intrigued about, Kate has introduced the, you know, I knew about the Akashic Records, I’ve been more intrigued to dive into it. And now here’s another message for me to start looking into it as well. And it’s awesome that you have, you know, taking all that you’ve learned through this experience. And like you said, it’s prepared you to be a guide for others, right? Who are navigating. And I saw a meme today. I posted it in a group that Kate and I are in it of like someone throwing up in the toilet and someone holding their hair back. And it was like the star seed that’s been awake for a while and the star seed that’s just awakening. And so it’s like, you know, holding the way for other people, those that are awakening, right? Like, like you went through it and now you can be a guide. So others don’t have to maybe struggle as much as you did.

Ahna Hendrix (58:48)

I wouldn’t wish it on anyone, but I don’t regret anything at the same time. I think it’s, again, it all served a beautiful purpose. And I think the Akashic Records, I love meeting other Akashic practitioners like Kate. I think that they’re not as well known, but I gotta tell you, if you’re feeling drawn, get ready. Cause I’ve always told my clients and talked about it on my podcast, I’ve done readings for freaking like hundreds and people in all kinds of situations, but the number one thing when you come to the Akasha, it’s because your life is getting ready to change. Like it opens up a portal that I don’t believe comes through any other modality. You know, the way that I view the Akasha is it is God energy. You know, it is that frequency of love and it heals you and it changes you just by being in the frequency, much less the fact that you have access to like, all information, which is again to this first line, very cool. You know, I just did a reading earlier today about the solstice that I’m excited to share, but you know, anything that we want to learn about, it’s there. And so if you’re a big nerd and you want to know about all the things, you know, and you’re feeling drawn, then yes, highly encourage, you know, and I would recommend too for folks, How to Read the Akashic Records by Linda Howe, I think is a beautiful place to start. Anyone can pick up that book and it’s really easy to kind of get going. That was my very first step in. And although I’m not necessarily, like I’m not a Linda Howe practitioner, I’m not any of those things, I really appreciate her pathway prayer, which I think is a beautiful place for beginners to start in regards to how to access the Akashic Records. You’ll be protected. You’ll definitely be in the Akasha. You know, my teacher self is like wanting to say all the things, but just to say that’s a great place to start for anyone who wants to start touching in or feels drawn.

Kate (1:00:59)

Amazing. Well, Ahna, thank you so much for everything that you shared. I think your journey is something that people need to hear and understand that. Yeah, it might sound amazing to have a spiritual awakening and then, you know, one day have this business. But the truth is that was a really hard path, right? And while that, you know, that is so goddamn challenging, there is beauty in that because our soul is wanting to come to express itself fully. And to do that, we have to let go of things to really become who we’re truly here to be. And so thank you for showing up for that journey, continuing to say, okay, I will stick around to, to be that and embody that and get to serve because the work that you do is powerful. And I’ve, I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing it and it really, really helped me. It’s been, you know, I was so glad that I reached out to you and I was just like, yes, she was the one, and you know, it is powerful work. It was transformative. It was exactly what I needed to, to move forward and improve for me, my own abilities. So if anyone is interested in checking out Ahna’s work, I highly recommend it. And I highly recommend your podcast because I have listened to that. You are, I love the way you talk and you have got in there as well a mini Akashic series, which I think is another great way for people to learn about what the Akashic records are. I think that’s about five episodes  I myself listened to that and I was just like, wow, I learned something from that things that I didn’t know. So yeah, recommend your podcast and checking out Ahna’s website. So, Ahna, thank you! We are just super grateful.

Ahna Hendrix (1:02:36)

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. And yeah, just FYI, real quick, that series on the Soul Driven Podcast is episode 168 to 172. So you can jump right into it. And they’re all about 15 minutes long. So they’re really nice and digestible, but it’ll give you a really good overview of the Akashic records, who can access them, you know, kind of all, you know, a nice, really foundational piece and, and, and also more about my relationship with the Akasha. So it’s a, it’s a great place to start for sure as well.

But thank you so much. I appreciate y ‘all listening to my long story and hopefully it was helpful. And again, so much, you know, we scratched the surface, so that was good. But, you know, the only thing I want to say is I just want to encourage people to just keep moving through the process, you know, to not give up, to remember that there are tools that are available, you know, to call on your spiritual team, to call on God.

Don’t be afraid to pray. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. We don’t have to go through these experiences alone. And because, again, this conversation has been opened up so much more in our collective, there’s no reason to do that at this point. And feel free to reach out to me. If I can be of any assistance or send any resources or anything like that, I’m happy to. So thank you. Thank you both for having me.

Kate (1:03:51)

Amazing. Yeah. Thank you. And thank you everyone for listening. We’ll talk to you in the next episode.