Shared Death Experience

Kate (01:33)

Welcome back to the Awakening Conversations podcast. My name is Kate and I’m here with my cohost Amanda. And today we’re being joined by Lauren Dionysius. Lauren is a former registered NICU nurse and has cared for more than 7 ,000 babies requiring intensive care at their time of birth. During her career break in Africa in 2011, she had a near -death experience in the Zambezi River and when she returned to the nursery she started having profound spiritual experiences with the babies she was caring for including three shared death experiences. Initially thinking she was going mad, she realized that the wisdom these babies were sharing completely changed how she cared for babies clinically and also her own beliefs around birth, life and death. She has now stepped away from the hospital environment to openly support parents and their children from preconception and pregnancy loss through to newborns and older children using baby soul communication to give these incoming souls a voice to share their insights.

Lauren,  welcome to the Awakening Conversations podcast.

Lauren (02:44)

Thank you so much for having me. It’s great to be here.

Kate (02:47)

Yeah, we are super excited to hear about your story because this is quite, unique. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone who’s told me they’ve had an experience like this. So we’d love for you to begin with sharing with us your journey to first and foremost, your near death experience in Africa and what that experience was like for you. Where did you begin and how did you get yourself into nursing and then even to find yourself in Africa?

Lauren (03:20)

Yeah, well, I think, you know, as a child, I’d always, always wanted to look after the babies. I’ve had this connection to babies for as long as I could remember. I was always, you know, my childhood photo albums, there was always pictures of me holding random babies of friends who were visiting. So I’d always had that connection, I guess, or like feeling that that they’re like little magnets to me. And so I’d sort of had that growing up and so when it came to deciding what I wanted to do with my life, I’d always wanted to be a nurse and look after the babies. I remember saying that as like, you know, in early primary school, probably like a six or seven year old. I just want to be a nurse and look after the babies. And so it was kind of, I mean, my journey did ebb and flow a little bit through my teenage years, but ultimately that’s what I ended up doing. And by the age of 23, so after two to three years of doing some general nursing, I was then able to specialize neonatal care or neonatal nursing. So yeah, I found myself in one of the biggest neonatal ICUs here in Australia. And it was a baptism of fire because it was not caring for the healthy, happy, chunky, babies that I’d sort of known growing up. It was caring for the complete opposite of that. It was caring for extreme premature babies born from 23 weeks. It was caring for babies who’d had some sort of birth trauma or were born with some sort of abnormality or complication. As well as a lot of social situations we dealt with as well, like babies born addicted to drugs and things like that. So it was, it was like suddenly like my world around babies was very different to my little bliss bubble, I guess, that I’d grown up in. And so it was, it was quite a shock to what had always been a very sensitive system that I’d had. I’d always been this sensitive child that like felt everything and everyone. And even though that I guess wasn’t really recognized at that time, this was, you know, sort of in the eighties, it was a real, it was really hard for me to deal with all of this trauma that I was constantly exposed to in a NICU.

There was like 80 cots, we were full like most of the time. And so it was just the, not only the degree, I think of, of trauma, if you like, but also the persistency of it and how, you know, was day in, day out. And, you know, I remember being, I think maybe after a year, maybe 18 months of being in the NICU that I had to support my first baby through the death process, you know, that it was no longer able to survive this world. We’d done everything that we could. And, it was absolutely gut wrenching for me because I’d grown up in a very strict Christian family. All of my beliefs came from, from that world, you know, around God and around heaven and around hell. One thing they didn’t teach me though is why God would allow babies to die. And it was a question that I carried with me for many, many years. And after about, it must have been like eight or nine years, I was like, I just can’t do this anymore. Like, you know, babies were being saved more often because the level of research and funding and technology was growing very rapidly, you know, with all of advances, I guess, in Western medicine meant that babies who may have been able to be saved a few years ago, not be able to be saved a few years ago, were now able to be saved. So that was also really challenging for me on an ethical level as well. 

And long story short, it led me to me needing to get away. I’m like, I can’t do this. This is what I wanted to do with my life and I don’t like it. What am I supposed to do? Why am I here? Why are babies dying around me? All of these things. And so I’m like, I just need a break. I need to get away. And so I decided to go to Africa. I don’t know why. It wasn’t somewhere I’d been thinking of going. It just came to me and you know, what started as like a four or five week trip turned into actually, no, I’m going to pack everything up, give up my apartment, quit my job and I’m just going to go. It was just something in me that I wasn’t aware of at the time or didn’t recognize at the time.

You know, in hindsight, it was obviously my soul or my intuition calling me to Africa and I just followed. I’d always been quite adventurous. I’d traveled a lot. It was my way of dealing with my job, I think, to be really honest. And so, yeah, so in 2011, I just up and went to Africa and I volunteered with the animals. I did wildlife conservation research, on different volunteer projects, away from hospitals, away from doctors, away from babies, away from parents, and I was dealing with animals. So it was a much needed relief for me, like mentally and emotionally. But you know, I still carrying these big questions about, you know, why do babies die? Why am I here? What am I supposed to do with my life? And probably it was about four to five months into my, I call it like my career break into Africa, I decided to go whitewater rafting. I had done it before in New Zealand. I wouldn’t necessarily say I was an adrenaline junkie, but I did enjoy like the odd, you know, challenge like that. And yes, I was walking down the valley, I guess, into the Zambezi River to jump on a raft. And I just had this funny feeling. You know, I can’t describe what it is. I still don’t really understand it, but it was, I’m not sure if it was just like some sort of nerves or feeling a bit anxious about, you know, getting into a level five river system that was in its final week of the season, which meant the water levels were really low and which meant that the rocks were sitting high comparatively with the water. So not a lot of water, which means the rapids are very, are much bigger and much more intense or aggressive. So yeah, I got into the raft and I’m not entirely sure how long I’d been on the raft for, but I just remember the raft kind of going up on its nose, like sort of taking a bit of like a nose dive and where the back of the raft went up into the air. Yeah, and I fell out, you know, it happens right, you know, people fall out of rafts all the time. But there was something different about this for me. And you know, keeping in mind that at this point in my life, I was still very, I wouldn’t say I was religious. I moved away a little bit from those beliefs, but I certainly wasn’t spiritual or I hadn’t really started that journey yet. 

What happened when I fell into the water is it was like, and I can only process this and understand this in hindsight because at the time it was a horrible experience for me. I was in absolute terror. I was in a lot of physical pain. I couldn’t breathe. I was very disorientated. So when you hear of people having near -death experiences, it’s often quite blissful. And it’s like, you know, people feel a sense of calm and peace and white lights and ancestors and grandmas and grandpas and all of this. Well, I had none of that. There was, as I said, I feel like I split in two and there was part of me, the physical me that was in the water and I was feeling all the rocks. I was bashing up against sticks. I had no idea which way was up. It was very dark. I could see some bubbles, but I didn’t. It’s weird. It’s like I didn’t know which direction those bubbles were moving. Because obviously my logical brain’s like, well, the bubbles are going to go up to the surface, right? So if I follow the bubbles up, then I can get air. But I didn’t, couldn’t tell which way the bubbles were moving. I didn’t know if I was upside down, the right way up, like on my side, or I just lost all orientation in space of my body, which sent a lot of fear through my system. But then there was this other part of me that was outside of my body and I was seeing what was happening to my body. seeing, I couldn’t see where I was in the river because that would have been really helpful if that part of me could say, hey, like you’re upside down, turn the right way up. Or, you know, wasn’t receiving that sort of wisdom or guidance, but there was like, I was, I was watching myself, almost watching myself underwater. But all around that part of me, was black. was like being in a dark room. I don’t know how big that room is. I couldn’t see any walls. The only thing I could see though was, you know, again, only noticing this in hindsight was a screen on the wall. And it was like a TV screen. And I was starting to see different things in my life. You know, I was seeing my family. I was seeing, I had a little niece at the time who was about eight. And you know, I kept seeing her and her as a baby and her older, you know, my family, my friends, my job, the hospital I worked at, like all of these different scenes, I guess, were coming through my life and yeah, I was being able to see or witness and I didn’t understand it because I was still very much in panic mode. And then the only other thing that I remember from that is I heard a voice. It wasn’t my voice. It wasn’t my words. I didn’t see anyone. I didn’t recognize the voice. It was, you need to go back for the children. And I thought, okay, you know, the only child in my life at that time was my little niece. And I thought maybe, you know, there’s, I thought maybe something was going to happen to my sister and her husband. And I need to like look after her or something. You know, this was what was going through my human mind as I was trying to understand what was happening.

And I don’t know like the timeframe of that. I know I went through at least two to three rapids and then it would be still for a little bit. And then I would go through the next one. So I was moving like pretty quickly and then someone came and rescued me. So I was, there was a kayak and you know, a guy paddling the kayak and then he pulled me kind of onto the back of the kayak and paddled me to the shore.

And then I was just, you know, I was, hyperventilating. I was, you know, panicking. I was, yeah, it felt like very much like a panic attack running on adrenaline. And I did not understand what was happening, but I just knew that I had to get out. I’m like, cause they tried to get me back into the next raft that was coming down the river. And I’m like, no, no, no, but I’m in like a, like, I’m like in this valley, right? So there’s like cliffs either side. And they said, well, if you don’t get on a raft, you’ll have to climb out. And I’m like, I’ll climb out. And you know, I had no shoes on, like nothing. And again, just on pure adrenaline, I’m like scaling this, you know, it wasn’t 90 degrees like a cliff face or anything, but it was just a very rocky, like a ravine or something. The kayak guy came with me with his canoe over his shoulder.

And anyway, they came and got me and took me back to the accommodation where I was staying. So, you know, for many years after that, I believed that I’d had a panic attack, you know, again, I wasn’t into anything spiritual. I didn’t believe in that stuff. Probably if anything, I was probably, you know, teetering on like the atheist side of, of things. And it was only like, after I didn’t even connect the dots when I returned to Australia a few months later. But again, in hindsight, when I did come back to Australia, I started dabbling in yoga and meditation and Buddhism and energy healing and craniosacral stuff and different modalities, I guess, acupuncture that I’d never sort of been interested in before. And I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I just thought, this is interesting. And I wonder what this is about. I think it was my curiosity was piqued, I guess, or awakened.

So yeah, and then my journey continued as I eventually went back to the nursery. But it took a few years because I still didn’t find any answers around why babies died. And so again, there was something stirring in me that kept pulling me back to the nursery. So then I started all of these like bargaining with the universe. I’m like, okay, I’ll go back to the nursery, but I’ll just work with the well babies. I’ll just work with the…you know, there’s different levels of nurseries and you know, the special care nursery is generally for babies, you know, 32 weeks and above. They’re normally healthier. They normally just need time to grow and learn to feed and all of these things. And I’m like, okay, I’ll start there. Like I’ll just work with the healthy babies and that way if they become unwell, well, the center I was working in, they would get flown out to a tertiary center. So I could deal with that. But you know, it was still a challenge going back into that environment again. And then, you know, over a couple of years, I started to feel the pull to move and to relocate for, cause I started studying like energy healing therapy and these things that I sort of needed to be closer to the Gold Coast is where I moved to just to be able to do this study and obviously much bigger hospitals down there than where I had come from. And so I found myself, yeah, being pulled back into the Neonatal ICU again. I had worked with staff there who knew me, knew my skillset from before I went to Africa. So I couldn’t hide and pretend that I didn’t know what I was doing in a NICU. And I just kind of remember saying to the universe, like, if I have to go back in there, things need to be different. And I guess there’s that cliche quote, right? Be careful what you ask for. And yeah, within a few months, like maybe six months, things started to change for me. I started having these profound experiences with babies where they’d talk to me and I’d be like, my God, I’m going crazy. I’m going to take two weeks off and I’d go to my boss and say, I’m really sorry. I can’t work for the next two weeks. You know, I need some time out, you know, all of these things, because I honestly thought I was going mad and I was too much shift work, not enough rest, not enough sleep, not eating properly, all of those things. And so I took time off and I went back to the nursery and things only intensified. So not only did I you know, it sort of started with like seeing pictures around babies cots to then hearing things from them, feeling things in my body that were then confirmed by x -rays, ultrasounds, different tests that these babies were having. And so I just ignored it. I’m like, okay, this is weird. I don’t understand it. I don’t know what it’s about. So I’m just going to bury my head in the sand and not think about it.

And I did that probably for a year or two, maybe I’m like, interesting, but whatever. And then I thought, actually, I need to start listening to this because what was happening is it was this information was changing my beliefs and changing how I cared for babies clinically. And also my beliefs were changing around life and death based on what these babies were sharing with me, these kids who were the ones going through this. It wasn’t coming from a mentor or a teacher or anything like that. It was coming like, which sounds crazy, I know I’m my own biggest skeptic in all of this, know, left brain science brain, know, show me the evidence, show me the research, show me your journal articles. That was my education and experience. And so it was a very difficult thing for me to navigate but it was actually only when I had started having shared death experiences with the babies I was caring for, which from memory was like 2018 to 2020, I had three of them. And that’s when I started Googling. That’s when I started getting online, finding out more information about what I was experiencing with these babies. Cause by this time, you know, I’d finished my yoga training. I’d finished my, my energy healing therapy, was very much in on that spiritual journey. And I’m like, no one’s talking about this. I don’t understand it. Like I haven’t been taught this. What’s this about? And it was only when I was able to identify that the, these later experiences I was having with babies were shared death experiences. And they mentioned that, you know, somewhere on Google mentioned that if you have a shared death experience, it’s you’ve often had a near death experience.

And I’m like, well, I haven’t had a near death experience. And it was only when I started learning about near death experiences that I realized the experience I had in the Zambisi River was, was ticking a lot of boxes on the, near death experience checklist, you know? And then that’s when I guess the pieces of the puzzle all started to, to come together and to start making a little bit more sense. And I guess lead me to where I am today, but I really feel that that experience in the Zambezi River was my first real awakening. And you know, it sort of completely changed my direction or pivoted me from a ex -Christian slash almost atheist mindset. Life isn’t fair, why do things happen? God is doing a really bad job if he’s letting babies die to, wow, there’s a much bigger picture here that I had no clue about. A lot of people don’t have a clue about, but it’s bringing me so much peace and is allowing me to do my job in a completely different way. And I’m actually coping with my job better. I’m able to care for these babies who are dying or have really severe complications. And it’s not draining me like it used to. So anyway, that’s like a long winded story there, kind of like that was, yeah, very much the journey for me over a period of, you know, 20 years or so.

Amanda (23:10)

There’s a lot in there. Before we go on, can you share for people listening, they might not know what a shared death experience is. And then also what was your specific experience? Can you give us a little bit more details about what those experiences were? And yeah, so we can unpack that a little bit.

Lauren (23:32)

Yeah, well, I guess the best way I would describe the shared death experiences, I guess it’s maybe a little bit different for different people, is it’s like you get front row seats to what’s happening when a soul leaves the body. So I was finding, so I had three shared death experiences over, you know, a couple of years.

And it was interesting, two of those experiences were with twins when one twin died and the other one survived. And then the other shared death experience was with a baby born at 23 weeks and was about 10 to 12 days old. And what was happening is I was having experiences before these babies died. And then the day that they died, wasn’t, so it’s interesting, I didn’t, I wasn’t caring for these babies clinically on the actual day that they died. But they had, all three had communicated with me in the days and sometimes weeks leading up to their death. And then what was happening is as the clinical things started to happen, you know, when it’s clear that a baby is not going to survive, you know, there’s different processes in place and different things you need to do or not do to support that journey for them, keeping them comfortable and managing their pain and obviously also supporting parents. So what happening to me is as I was either hearing what was, as in with my human ears, like my nurse brain, like what was going on clinically. I was also, it was like I was living like had one foot in each world. I was also seeing what was happening behind the scenes. It was like the curtain was being pulled up and I was peeking in and I was seeing, I was simultaneously witnessing the death of the baby from Earth and the birth of the baby back into spirit. And it was incredibly joyful, incredibly peaceful. There was so much light, so much, was like a celebration, which was in total contrast to what these parents were experiencing.

And so what I started to do was document what I was seeing, like in my third eye, whatever you want to call it. And then I would go back later and I would compare that to the clinical notes. Cause again, I’m my own biggest skeptic and I was like, I wanted to understand this and no one else could tell me what was happening. I also couldn’t bounce the idea off the people I was working with. So I had to kind of figure it out for myself.

And what I learned is when, like just before a baby’s airway is removed, so their breathing tube is removed, is when, well in my experience is when the soul leaves the body. So, and I had that experience where I would just look at my clock because my watch, because what I would see is the spirit world. And it’s hard to describe, I guess, if you haven’t seen it before, but I’ll try to describe it. It’s like this vast space that opens up. There’s a lot of space. There’s a lot of light. There’s a lot of activity. There’s a lot of beings. You know, I saw for me, I’m very connected to the angelic realm. So there was a lot of angels around a whole, I guess you’d call them like a swarm of angels or I don’t know what the collective term for a big group of angels is, a herald of angels, don’t know, a flock of angels, yeah, yeah, something like that. And I was seeing that. And so I was seeing like all of these angels and, you know, I’m talking about, the one I’m talking about at the moment is the experience with the 23 weeker, just before her breathing tube was removed, I saw all of these angels come to collect her. There were like, there were hundreds of them. I also heard music as well. You know, it was, I don’t know if it was influenced by my church upbringing, like with the hymn type music, it sort of sounded like that. There were no words or anything, no, was just sounds, but very high frequency, very pure, very simple melodies. And just this, it was a celebration. And I felt her soul, and this is hard to describe when it’s a feeling that you feel and something that you see but I felt her soul’s energy leaving her physical body at that time when all of these angels came. And when I checked back later, it was only, I can’t remember the exact timeframe now, but it was within like 20 minutes, half an hour after I had that vision that the breathing tube was physically removed from her lungs, from her throat. And then, there was a period of time, I think with her, may have even been up to a couple of hours before her heart actually stopped beating. But that period of time was, there was no pain for her. There was no suffering there. Her physical body was going through the processes it needed to be, but she was not there. Like her essence, her energy was not clinically or physically present anymore. Her body was just going through that process. Her soul was free and I just felt this incredible sense of freedom for her. She was free. She was out of this body. She was free from the pain, the restriction, the experiences that she’d had in her very short life here on earth.

And it just, it was, an incredibly emotional experience for me. I had to stop, you know, what I was doing. But yeah, that was, I think from memory, like you get a bit confused with the timeline, but I think that was like my second shared death experience. But it was the most powerful for me because she also came to me the night before. I don’t know if it was some sort of premonition or she was trying to tell me something, but she told me how she wanted to die and she showed me that she didn’t want to be inside, she wanted to be outside. And again, I’m like, well, I can’t just rock up to work tomorrow morning and say, hey, like this baby’s going to die today and you need to take her outside. You know, like I’m like, and I’m like, I’m sorry, but I can’t share that message for you. And I felt very torn because this was her deepest desire and deepest wish is for her soul to be released outside, outside this hospital building. So yeah, it was extremely powerful. And as I said, that was just like one of the experiences I’ve had, but I felt it was just this such a contrast to death as we perceive it. And as we perceive it as this heavy thing that shouldn’t happen and it’s wrong. And we have this belief that all babies should be born and then we should all live to we’re a hundred and die peacefully in our sleep. That’s what society in my experience anyway, tells us about death. And so anything outside of that is, is wrong and or something’s gone wrong or it’s unfair or it’s unjust. Whereas, you know, witnessing why babies die and them sharing me why they’re, why they’re dying. It’s like, it’s just so far removed from our beliefs around death. It’s so beautiful, it’s so selfless, it’s so astonishing to me that these babies would choose to come to earth and then leave again for their own reasons that we as a society do not even consider or take into account their side of the, their picture, their point of view, their perspective, their journey, their purpose, their reasons, what they need. We don’t consider that. We just see it as wrong because oh, he’s a 23 -weeker who’s 12 days old, who’s died, you know, and we see every bit of that as being wrong. Whereas I’ve learned that it can be incredibly beautiful and powerful and transformative for that soul while also my journey has been well, you know, holding both. It’s, that doesn’t deny or dismiss the very real human experience of loss and grief and death. We very much need to honor that. But I find being able to hold space for both is so powerful. And not only does it help to change our perspective, but well, for me personally and professionally, it allowed me to suffer a whole lot less than before I started having these experiences. And so even for that reason only, if I take everything else out, it’s absolutely powerful and essential and worth it for me despite all those times I thought I was losing the plot. It was a little bit crazy. So, so yeah.

Kate (32:24)

Can I ask, you know, as you explained just, just now, you know, this is a soul’s choice, these babies as souls have chosen these particular births, these particular experiences, were there any, you know, through your, these shared death experiences, particularly any message from the babies that you had these experiences with, why, like, why have they chosen this? Like, what was the growth experience for them on a soul level?

Lauren (32:57)

Yeah and I think for all three experiences, the reasons were all different. So there are some themes, I guess, that come through around babies and dying. But with these three babies, it was all very different. So with the one I was just telling you about, the 23 -weeker, her mum developed a really severe infection, which meant that she needed to be delivered early to save her mother’s life. She’s like, if I didn’t come now, she would not be here. so, and it wasn’t, it wasn’t a like, there was no ego there. It was just, you know, what I, what I experienced from these babies who come and often from the soul world is things are much more matter of fact. There’s a lot less emotional attachment and intensity to what we as humans, you know, we’re emotional beings. We have emotions about everything and emotional attachments to everything. And there’s an intensity with that emotion. Whereas with the baby soul realms and these babies coming to earth, these souls coming to earth, it’s much more matter of fact and a lot more direct and a lot less emotion. So what happened with her and you know, look, this does get a bit hazy. There’s some times where these things are planned. There’s other times where, something happens here on earth that may have been unplanned or unexpected or even a possibility, but not known for sure. You know, and with her, she was like, you know, this happened and I needed to make a decision. We needed to make a decision. Something needed to happen here. Her soul was going to leave or my soul was going to leave. She had another child. She had a partner. She was quite young, like in her mid to late 20s, I think from memory, this mum. Otherwise very healthy, but she, yeah, had this severe infection that landed her in ICU and she needed like, there was a decision that needed to be made and this soul put its hand up to say, I’ll come, I can come back another time. You know, you are here, this is your life and that soul was not ready to go. I could sense that from the mother, it wasn’t her time. And this soul again in a very selfless but also unemotional way, which is really hard for me to understand how it can just be, I’ll go, I’ll come now. And I know that I’m at 23 weeks and I know that I’m probably not going to survive but  I’m going to go because things have changed, things have progressed, a decision needs to be made and I’m going to do that. So that was with that child. And then the other child, the two sets of twins, one of them was like, I never came to stay. I came to help her, to help my sister cross the threshold, but I did not have a life plan here on earth. I, you know, and I tune a lot into timelines. And when I tuned in her timeline, it stopped. It was like a dead end. Whereas her sister’s timeline was very long. She’s like, we just made an agreement. She didn’t want to come by herself, but I didn’t want to come and have a full life here. So I came with her. I helped her, for whatever reason it was important for the surviving child to have her twin come with her through the birth portal as opposed to leaving during pregnancy. So again, with her, it was, I mean, that was a very, very different shared death experience for me, but you know, her wisdom around it was like, I never came to stay. You know, this is where my journey ends and was always going to end was, you know, within, I think she survived about 12 hours after birth before her soul left her body. And yeah, so for her, it was very black and white and was very pre -planned. You know, this is what is going to happen. This is always what was going to happen. And she was born into a body that was actually incompatible with life to ensure that even medicine couldn’t, couldn’t save her.

Yeah, the other twin was very different. It was, there was a lot of like karmic stuff going on there, past life stuff, you know, for to open up that can of worms. So so yeah, that was a very different and much more traumatic shared death experience because it was very she had already been on Earth for six months before she her soul left.

Amanda (37:37)

Thank you. I enjoyed hearing that. I’m curious if you’ve had any messages from babies that they’ve come and maybe had a shorter life to teach family members lessons or experiences that other souls have needed to have from the loss of the baby. Have you had anything like that happen?

Lauren (38:00)

Yeah, absolutely. Like it happens often, you know, a common theme. It’s not the same with everyone. You know, every situation is a little bit different, but you know, a really common theme around a baby that comes and then leaves through either miscarriage or stillbirth in particular is again, we’re looking at a soul picture. Sometimes we need to not separate the human experience, but it’s kind of, there needs to be a bit of space sometimes to be able to understand things on a different level. But there is, yeah, this theme that, you know, the loss of a baby opens up, I don’t know if you want to call it like a grief portal or some kind of like portal to allow mum, dad, perhaps other people close by to lean into grief that may have been suppressed or not been able to be felt or experienced, you know, either in this life or in other lives as well.

So again, looking at that soul perspective, it’s almost like this black and white, like logical matter of fact type process. Whereas for us, it’s like, what did I do wrong? Like I should have did this. Why did I do that? I should have stayed in hospital. Why did I go home? Like, know you, all of the questions or the what ifs that come up and the whys. Whereas in my experience, like it’s not like that. They come here to teach us so much.

Sometimes, for example, a woman has miscarried to another woman in a previous life and so there needs to be some balance around that. Sometimes it’s around the incoming soul being autonomous and making their own decisions and being able to change their mind. That happens a lot in miscarriage where babies will come and then they’ll say, they’ll realize actually, no, this is too much for me. I can’t, like the Earth’s energy is too heavy. I can’t do this right now. Sometimes they’re conceived into the, I don’t like to say wrong biological body, but that’s how they can experience it, I guess. And they’re like, no, no, this isn’t gonna work for me. I’m going to go. Or sometimes and many babies, especially at the moment, they’re needing a few, few tries if you like to come to earth because they need that time to acclimate or adjust to the density of the energy here on earth. They can’t just go from spirit to earth and live for a hundred years. They need to do it slow. So there’s a lot of reasons around the death of babies, but yeah, I guess they’re some of the common themes that have come up in sessions and in different families and situations.

Kate (40:40)

I think you’re really wonderfully giving a voice to, you know, the soul experience and the soul expression of who we are. You know, throughout many episodes, have talked about the fact that we have a soul’s plan, we have a soul’s path, and that we do come here to have certain experiences and certain lessons. And even through what you’ve mentioned there, you know, that there is like karmic energy that needs to be figured out. And you know, when you did say about how one of the children did come through to just clear the karmic debt, like the karmic energy, almost to come in to move the energy, right? Like energy is always wanting to be moved when it, when it’s stuck, it’s something has to be a catalyst for it. So, you know, I think you’ve, your life’s experiences here with these babies is truly adding such a powerful insight into the nature of who we are, the nature of life, through these shared death experiences and the work that you’re doing, because it’s ongoing now that you’re still communicating with babies in a way, what has it really taught you about life and us as souls that you think would be valuable for people to know that you’ve learned through these experiences you’ve been having?

Lauren (41:42)

Yeah, well that there’s a much bigger picture and that we are so tunnel and I don’t say this is like a judgment because I’m totally in this boat as well. Still go there at times but you know we’re very judgmental and we’re very black and white and we’re very small minded when it comes to life here on earth. We either don’t have the capacity or even the awareness or the foresight or the thought to realize that this is part of a much bigger picture. I see our life here on earth is like a piece of a pie.

And there’s all these other pieces that we don’t know about that we, that we haven’t even, we haven’t been taught to know about or to to even consider. But what it’s done for me is it’s helped me to realize, you know, that old phrase, like, don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s made me realize that, you know what, I’m just here for a blip of time in my soul’s timeline. I’m here to learn and grow. And I am here to face challenges. I’m not here. You know, I’ve learned that if we’re a soul, we don’t come to earth for an easy ride. We don’t come to earth for a holiday. We come to, you know, to, learn and to grow and to practice things and to practice, yeah, like practice different ways of being or different interactions or, you know, we, we also don’t necessarily come here to suffer, you know, how much we suffer. And this is what I’ve learned is, is, you know, really down to us.

And I know that can be, you know, a big call, but, know, things are happening all the time. Nobody escapes bad things happening, right? Like we don’t get it. We don’t get to have that kind of life. Like, you know, I don’t know, maybe there’s other places in the cosmos you can go for, you know, rainbows and unicorns, but, you know, but here, like we, we have, like, we sign up to do the hard yards. If we choose to continue doing that on here, like while we’re here. So it’s, it’s taught me yet. Like probably the biggest thing is like the much bigger picture that we are so much more vast and more expansive than, you know, me, Lauren, as the human here on earth at this time. You know, there’s much more to me as there is to everyone. There’s, you know, we have a lot more power than we’re led to believe. We have a lot more choice and autonomy to what we’re led to believe. So for me, it’s just really opened up not only my experience of being a human here on earth, but also my understanding of the soul’s journey. And that’s my default state is energy, soul, source, love, whatever you want to call it, the words don’t matter, but it’s something that’s so much bigger than our 3D human body, but we can use that to experience or explore other facets of our soul’s energy here in the physical form. So it’s, yeah, and I feel like for me that takes the pressure off. It’s like, you know, it helps me to like trust a lot more in my journey.

I mean, I still struggle with the control side of things and the planning side of things, but you know, I’m learning this work is really learning me to let go of a lot of the striving and the hustle and the got to get it right. And I’ve got to do it right. And I’ve got to do this or I’ve got to do that. Or it helps me to slow down and it helps me to, yeah, to trust in this process of life and that there’s no right way to do it. You know, while I do believe that a lot of you know, not even a lot. I believe that there are different like signposts, if you call them, of things that we sort of do plan for our life. But how we move in between those is our own autonomy, our own choices. I don’t believe everything is set in stone. And that’s a huge misconception that a lot of women have around, you know, especially around conception. It’s like, well, when is my baby coming? Sometimes they don’t even know. They’re waiting on the energy and the see what’s happening here on earth and very, very flowy. So it’s taught me to try to invite more of that into my life as well.

Kate (46:11)

You know, the times that we’re moving through right now are, you know, maybe pure insanity, who knows, but, you know, this is a incredible time in our human history to be alive, you know, and this particular decade is a very important one in our human evolution and our spiritual evolution. And so, you know, from that lens, you know, and your understanding of the soul.

You know, for those listening, like all of what Lauren has just said, letting themselves, you know, open to that idea that if you’re hearing this podcast, anytime to the 2020s, you know, you are here for a very specific reason, or at least you are here for this experience, for this crazy ride that we’re currently going through. You know, and from what you’ve just shared, I think it’s such a beautiful approach for people to really start to embrace that, you know, again, our suffering, there’s a choice point there, we get to play with that, like, how much do I really want to like dive in and swim in it? And if you do, that’s okay. Because that’s part of this human experience, you know, and the soul is learning through that. But if you do do that, like how we can do it in a way that’s sort of more curiosity and wow.

This is what it feels like to, you know, we’ve said this before, like to feel such anger or despair and, and, and do so in a way where we don’t get caught in that story or, know, that’s the only thing that we’re here to experience. We’re here to experience it all, as you said, and then, and, then some, right? Like, because there’s, there’s that part of the human world, there is the suffering, there is the challenge, and yet we are also souls, which is a multi -dimensional, makes us multi -dimensional. And so.

We can also then experience ourselves in these other incredible ways, like realizing first and foremost we’re a soul. What does that mean if I am? And in your case, you know, you’ve, you’ve been able to discover your own gifts and abilities as the experience of the soul that exists in this human called Lauren and how you can integrate those two parts of you to be here as a soul on earth, bringing that reality together for other humans. So.

Your story is just absolutely incredible. And I just am completely fascinated by it. And, I love it because it kind of like, it just kind of like gives us the proof that there’s, this is happening, you know, your experience is direct, you know, it’s you’re languaging it. You’ve seen it. You’ve seen that beautiful experience of a soul returning to the soul world and the joy that exists in that. And then that polarity of like, yes, on our human world, it’s all pain and it’s suffering. And that doesn’t not to say that it isn’t like it is. And that’s part of our human experience. It’s just completely fascinating.

Lauren (48:51)

Yeah, it’s, you know, and I think too, it’s like, you know, and I think that is the gift, I think, in a lot of the awakening process is when we have these experiences ourselves, they become part of our lived experience. It’s not someone teaching you or telling you or saying that this is how it is or this is what happens. Like when you have a lived experience and you know, it’s gonna be different for everyone because we’re in different forms and have different plans or like possibilities for our life here on earth. You know, but when you have these experiences yourself, because as I said, like nobody told me this stuff, they’re literally the only reason I’m believing it and trusting it is because I had this experience myself. Because I would think that, you know, if someone had told me this is how it is, that natural skeptic in me, that natural scientist in me, that’s starting to be a little bit quieter these days. But I wouldn’t have believed it. I wouldn’t have even entertained those thoughts. I may have thought, OK, that’s interesting. But that would have been where it stopped. But I think that’s the powerful thing around awakening, this awakening process and journey that we all move through, is it shows us these things in a very real, tangible, lived experience type, type way that is, you know, different for different people. So and I think that’s where the the power is and the gift in it all as well, even though it can be very brutal, as I think many of us can attest to it’s it’s it’s uncomfortable. It’s confronting. You know, I think, you know, the awakening process is very confronting. You know, the all of the the beliefs that I had to unbelieve because something, life was showing me other ways. Life was showing me that I wasn’t being punished or these parents were, they were showing me that they hadn’t done something wrong or all of these things. So, going through that process of like, yeah, unbelieving or challenging what we may have believed for many years and probably for many generations. I think that’s certainly been the case with me that we that yeah, those things are challenged. And I think that can be a very uncomfortable process. And that’s why I love conversations like this, because I think the more we talk about these things, you know, it’s kind of, you know, hopefully even just one other person will say, like me too, or, you know, that makes me feel better because I’m not the only crazy one out here or, or having these experiences. so yeah, it’s, it’s powerful stuff. It’s life changing. Yeah.

Amanda (51:56)

Yeah, that’s the idea of these conversations is to activate, right? Because when we’re having these experiences in our own little heads and we think we’re crazy and we don’t think anyone else is having them and what you mentioned the grief portal, which I really liked that terminology. I’ve never heard that before, but my awakening came through the passing of my mom. And that’s really what it was. It was this trans like I’ve had two experiences with my mom and another family member where I was present and it was unexplainable things that happened. I wonder how many healers, practitioners that are surrounded by death are having these experiences, but they don’t really know, they can’t acknowledge it, they can’t fully accept it or because they don’t, they can’t speak to anyone about it. And so they’re just kind of dismissing it. Or maybe they’re, I wonder for you as well, did you eventually share these experiences with anyone? Did you ever talk to anyone about these experiences? And then another question I have is the information that you received from these babies, how did it change how you related either to the parents and like, what did that look like for, like how were you able to help them with that information, that knowing that you had, and then were there any instances where you were able to affect things clinically had you not had that information from these babies? You mentioned the going outside one, but do you have any other examples of that by chance?

Lauren (53:41)

Yeah, so touching on that, like I would often have physical experiences with the babies I was caring for. Like I remember, like there’s two that come to mind where I was having, like I was caring for a baby that whenever I went into or whenever I went to this baby’s cot, I’d get really severe pains in my stomach. And I’m not someone that has those symptoms normally. It’s not part of my own symptomatic quite, you know, experience of my own physical body. And so, and I was like, that’s weird. And you know, the first few times you kind of like palm it off and think, yeah, okay, whatever. Maybe it was lunch or whatever. But, yeah, but then I sort of like, no, no, there’s something going on here. And you know, and with babies, when you’re caring for babies clinically, you do, you know, it’s very much attention to detail because babies can get very sick and very quickly. And often anything that is preceding that is either you can’t see it until it’s happening or it’s extremely subtle. And with this baby, I was just having these pains and I was like, so I just started looking at this baby more closely, you know, and you, you’re trained in this specialty to, you know, to use your senses like visual, like your hearing,

And you know, there is a little bit of gut instinct with this work because you can’t go to a baby and say, hey, like, are you feeling okay? Or does something hurt? I mean, I learned to do that with babies. I learned to like sort of tune in and say, Hey, like, you know, what’s, what’s going on here? But I, I was sensing from this baby, this, and it’s important to remember that souls communicate differently as well. So some communicate like we are now others are through feeling others are through sending images. But I just felt energetically this baby was off. It was even like that time before that energy shows as being lethargic or a little bit quieter than normal or a little bit sleepy. It was kind of like this little period before that. And I just flag it with the doctors. I’ve got to be very careful how I approach it. Because I can’t just say, every time I go to that baby’s cot, I get like a severe pain in my stomach. So I think we should do an x -ray on this baby. You know, like I can’t say that. Yeah. Maybe one day in the future, it’ll get to that, right? But yeah, but no, I just had to drop in clinical cues

Amanda (56:06)

Wouldn’t it be nice if you could though? You know what I mean? Like, like this is real. Pay attention. Yeah.

Lauren (56:20)

because I could feel the energy. like, I feel like this baby’s a little bit quieter than usual, a little bit, you know, there’s all sorts of terminology. So you’ve got to just kind of use the lingo, right? And you know that they’re a bit like less reactive than usual when you’re handling them and that sort of thing.

Anyway, over my shift, we did get an x -ray and this baby did have the very early beginnings of a gut obstruction, we’re able to then put the baby nil by mouth and was able to manage conservatively without needing surgery.

Kate (56:49)

Lauren, your story is absolutely fascinating. And so you are now, as you said, out of the clinical setting, working with parents more directly one -on -one. Do you want to share a little bit about the work that you’re doing now?

Lauren (57:01)

Sure, so I have a couple of different offerings, but I do both one -on -one and group baby soul readings. So helping women to connect with their baby anywhere from preconception throughout pregnancy, including pregnancy loss, miscarriage, stillbirth, termination as well, neonatal and child loss, as well as preparations for birth and what babies need, as well as babies and children Earthside, because they continue to communicate with us after they’re born as well, up into their teenage years is how I work at the moment. So I offer one -on -one readings. I also do monthly online group baby soul readings where you can ask a question and I’ll answer them live, send the recording. And I’ve also just this year started group journeys as well to teach you and guide you to connect with your own baby soul.

Amanda (57:51)

Can I ask you, I don’t know if you, I might’ve missed it. Do you connect with baby souls that have passed years ago? Can you do that as well?

Lauren (58:04)

Yeah, so I’ve worked with women who lost babies 30, 40 years ago as well. So there’s no timeframe. And then women who are in the middle of miscarrying. it’s like the whole, the time doesn’t matter when it comes to connecting with the soul dimension, I guess, cause it’s yeah, very different concept of time.

Amanda (58:23)

I imagine that’s super powerful for mothers and fathers that have that wound, that trauma, to get a different perspective. So hopefully people listening either can utilize this themselves or share it with someone that they think could benefit from connecting with you.

Kate (58:44)

Yeah, very special work. And just one last thing for those navigating the awakening journey, because as you said, these experiences aren’t always easy. What advice or what message would you like to share with them to help them wherever they are?

Lauren (58:46)

Yeah, thank you. I think sometimes it’s just the time to hold on and to day by day, step by step, not trying to figure it out or understand it. I think a lot of the awakening process comes over time and in hindsight, and it’s kind of in the moment, you’ve just got to go with it and try not to understand it. And then, at least in my experience, it only started to make sense, or for me, was years later, and it made no sense at the time. So yes,  don’t, don’t try to figure it out.

Kate (59:37)

Yeah. Be compassionate with yourself as you go through the hard bits. Yeah. And you’re not crazy. You’re not crazy. Exactly. Exactly. Well, Lauren, thank you so much for your time and everything that you shared. We will share some links to your work so that anyone listening who feels called or knows someone that may benefit from it can get in touch with you. And thank you so much to everyone who listened. We’ll join you in our next episode.