Episode 006

Navigating The Challenges of Awakening

How Dark Times Hold Our Greatest Potential

In this episode, we have an open, honest and candid conversation about the challenges of the awakening process. We share our personal experiences of navigating a world filled with fear and how to be with what is, while keeping our heart open to the full potential that challenging times truly offer and the power that we have to effect that change. 

We dive into understanding consciousness and the ascension process and how we can use what triggers us to help us transform and heal. 

We also explore the themes of moving from victimization to freedom, reclaiming our power, seeing the truth in others and the importance of love, compassion, and self-discovery in our awakening journey.

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Awakening Conversations
006. Navigating The Challenges of Awakening -  How Dark Times Hold Our Greatest Potential

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In this episode...


  • Challenges and difficult experiences are part of the ascension journey, but they offer opportunities for growth and transformation.
  • By integrating and transforming our experiences, we can raise our vibration and contribute to the shift in collective consciousness. Anger is a natural part of the awakening process
  • Reclaiming power involves recognizing where we are being victims in our lives and taking responsibility for our circumstances.
  • Living from a heart-centered space and approaching conflict with love and compassion can lead to personal and collective transformation.
  • Using anger as a creative force can help shift energy and bring about positive change.
  • Seeing the truth in others and holding them to their highest potential can help us transcend fear and embrace unconditional love.



Kate (00:00)

Welcome back to the Awakening Conversations podcast. My name is Kate. I’m here with my co -host Amanda. We are really excited to have you tuning in again. So Amanda, welcome to today’s episode. Once again, I’m so happy to see you and connect with you.


Amanda (00:16)

Same, and thank you for that lovely introduction and lovely breathing, grounding exercise that you just walked me through. And we were just talking about how in the future, in the future, we would like to share this experience with others because it really does have a way to connect me back my body. And so thank you for that. You’re a natural at that.


Kate (00:43)

You’re welcome. You’re welcome. So yeah, Amanda and I, before we start recording, we really center ourselves and connect with ourselves. It’s different each week. And so yeah, we’ll start to record those and have them available at future time. Yeah. So you can, you too can really start to anchor in more of who you are. 


Kate (01:05)

Would you like to sort of start to talk about, you know, when we talk about consciousness rising and, you know, the bigger picture of what does this really mean for us in, you know, as our awakening journeys unfold, how can we help our listeners understand what this really means and what this process actually is? What would you share on that if you were to begin our conversation today?


Amanda (01:26)

So I think we both are going through part of what the ascension process is about. And it’s really about releasing parts of ourselves that are no longer serving us, no longer serving, are no longer, want to be released, right?


For example, I will share for myself that this year has been a challenge and, and at the same time, I know that it’s part of my evolutionary process that I’m going through to become a different version of me. And because I’ve been doing this work for multiple years, I see, I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. That doesn’t make it, it’s not hard to be going through challenges and difficult experiences. However, in order to, it’s not, ascension is not all fairies and rainbows and butterflies, right? It’s seeing all parts of ourselves. It’s seeing all part, you know, on a micro level. It’s also seeing all parts of our reality on, and so that’s what we’re seeing right now on a collective level.


We are seeing so much come to the surface right now because in order for us to get to a higher vibration, higher frequency, we have to release the darker, heavier, denser energies both within ourselves physically and that is what also our earth is doing. So, what it’s quite interesting going through challenging times and what, you know, I think as people connect with other people who are on a similar awakening or on an awakening journey or on an awakening path it’s funny because so many people in my circle are going through similar energies, but, you know, separately, like I’m going through it on my own and someone else’s

going through it on their own, but it’s the same themes and the same energy. And so what I’ve come to learn is that it’s not really, it’s this larger energy that’s moving these themes through us, these energies through us and we’ve come to recognize that we’re all connected, right? On this energetic quantum level. And I’m gonna stop there and then see if you have anything to go off of what I just said. 


Kate (04:02)

Yeah, so I’m going to backtrack a little bit and I’m going to say that , I think we’ve mentioned this on one of our other episodes that there is a massive collective shift as you’re speaking about that we’re all going through. And this is, consciousness is rising and consciousness is basically, or maybe not basically, but consciousness is part of who we are, the energetic part of who we are, the soul aspect of who we are. And there’s the human part and then it’s the soul aspect. And that is, that is consciousness. And I was thinking about this the other day, I remember, you know, when I first heard this word consciousness, I think I was reading a Deepak Chopra book and I was like, I could not understand what this consciousness thing was. And so therefore I shut the book and I just couldn’t read it because I got lost every time I heard that word. 


But now I’ve really come to understand that that’s this part of us that is, I don’t know, I like to think of it as the part that animates us or really comes from inside of us. It’s not our mind, it’s not our ego, it’s not the thoughts about who we think we are, you know, I’m  Kate, you are Amanda, you’re American, I’m Australian, those labels. But the consciousness part of us is that sort of more felt sense part of us that is that driving force within us that wants to express ourselves in a more authentic way or in a certain way that thinks or feels it may have something here to offer the world or just, you know, deeper desires, I really feel that come from this consciousness part of us. And it is going through a rise, which maybe, I don’t know if you, you know, why or how this has, you know, the background of this, but it’s some, for some reason it’s rising, um, from the best of my understanding, like this is, it’s just an evolutionary process. I believe is that what you believe? Is that how you’ve come to know it. Is it an evolutionary process?


Amanda (06:00)

What makes, what feels true to me is that, and what I’ve heard said is that earth is a school, right? That’s that, um, an experiment, it’s a grand experiment. And this might seem kind of out there for some, but I’m just going to explain what I’ve heard and what feels true like to me is this experiment in the lower densities, the third dimensional energies. And those of us that have come here have come here to, I don’t know if it’s all souls that have come here, but a lot of souls that have come here came here because it’s such a challenge to be here, because we forget. We forget that we’re souls. And part of the awakening process is remembering that we’re souls and we’re part of this greater consciousness, this greater source consciousness that is like, what’s the word omniscient, omnipresent. It’s like, it’s through everything.


Kate (07:06)

Um, yeah, omniscient. 


Amanda (07:09)

And we come into these systems that distract us, like social media. We were just talking, Kate and I were just talking about how I’ve had to take a break from social media because it was like pulling my attention away from everything that I wanted to create and so anyways, there’s these forces in our physical world that keep us from recognizing that we are souls, right? That we are connected to something greater. And then so we came here into this dual, duality, planet of duality, where we are, we learn, right? There’s all these stories that we learn through archetypes and that there’s good and there’s bad, there’s dark and there’s light and having to choose a side. And but I think what the process of Ascension is learning that and learning to accept both, learning to exist from our heart space. So we can accept all of it, right, not reject the dark and, and make that like what happens when we reject something that is negative or dark? It grows, right? It goes more extreme, right? And so if we have extreme good and we have extreme bad, we exist in this polarity rather than being able to rise above, see it all, accept it all, love it all.


And then that’s to me, that’s what the Ascension process is about is learning how to do that. And everything that we’re experiencing in our life is an opportunity to, to experiment, to like try differently to, both with ourselves, with other people, like we’re constantly, have these thought patterns, right? Running through our heads, telling us, telling ourselves, we can be telling ourselves that we’re not good enough, that we’ve learned that from somewhere. And then like it’s a revolutionary act. It’s an act of ascension to learn to love ourselves and even love the part of ourselves that feels they need to say those things about us. So that’s my long winded response. I don’t know how it got there, but.


Kate (09:42)

That’s perfect. That’s perfect. I think you’ve really painted a great picture for us to sort of see that exactly like the consciousness part of us is this soul and it’s really and I love the way you describe it makes me think that this part of us really wants to be brought more into our human awareness. And I think of actually the channel Paul Selig. I’ve read a lot of his work and


it is this remembering of this part of us so that we can be more aligned to this soul self. Because as you said, this soul self of us is consciousness part of us is a very different experience to the human and mind and ego experience of us, which holds those things as good and bad or separate. Like I like these things. I don’t like these things. I want these things. I don’t want these things. I want that as far away from me. I want this close to me. So that push pull separation energy. 


And so this rising in consciousness is this rising of this awareness of ourselves as part of ourselves, showing us more and more of these, let’s say mind, ego, separated parts of ourselves where we maybe even keep ourselves in a sense of separation. The parts of me I like, the parts of me I don’t, which is preventing us to experiencing a sense of wholeness that we are in the process of beginning to look at these parts, work with these parts, heal these parts, reclaim these parts of who we are as a beautiful human, not flawed, not wrong, not, you know, not good enough, you know, perfectly whole and amazing as we are with all of the different shades and nuance of who we are as an individual and really reclaiming that because that is in my thoughts right now, like really the soul self parts of us that we’re denying and hiding and pushing away. 


So in some ways, you know, it’s this reclamation of our authenticity, this consciousness part of us to be that version in the world, because my experience of that bit of that process, and I’m going through a bit of it at the moment is that the energy of that feels different. And when I say the energy of that feels different, we talk a lot about, we have mentioned like vibration, a higher vibration. And at the moment for myself through my, you know, extended awakening journey, we have our awakening experiences, which you’ve maybe listened to in our other episodes that are the catalyst to kind of crack us open to a new way of living.


But this awakening journey continues and as consciousness is continuing to rise, more and more of our stuff comes up for review and for us to look at and heal and integrate. And as we then commit to the work of whatever it is we’re feeling on that consciousness soul level that we want to achieve or experience or a path we want to follow in our life, we’re given the opportunity to do that healing work, but also to follow paths that help us have a greater understanding of what we’re here to do, how we’re here to serve. And at least in my journey, that’s, that’s been part of that. So I’ve been doing the learning and the understanding and getting the clarity and feeling like, Oh, this is amazing. This part of my path is awesome. And now I’m here at a doorway of like, well, yes. And now you have to integrate that. And now you have to really make a shift from this old way of being, which is you want these things, but you doubt, and you fear and you play small and you maybe people please. And you, you know, manipulate yourself and your expression of yourself to fit into the environment. So people will like you to, you need to like break that apart so that you can stand in this new energy. And I keep doing this with my hands because I can feel it like wanting to push up because it’s a different vibration, this different version of me who can have a podcast talking about awakenings and consciousness.


And claim that and hold that and be like, yes, this is me. You know, this is a new energy. So, you know, interesting timing for our conversation today that, you know, this is how I’m feeling this week, cause it wasn’t last week. Last week, I was thinking it was like, I was skipping through the flowers in the garden going, this is so amazing. And this week I’m just like…


Amanda (14:10)

That’s how it works. It’s like, oh, you think you have it figured out? Okay, now it’s time for…


Kate (14:17)

Exactly. This week I’m…Yeah, now you’re going to do the actual work part. You thought they’re like finding the clarity part and doing some of the facing of the stuff for the little bits was the work. No, no, now you’ve got to sit with this like actual part of you in some ways. I don’t want to say dying. I don’t think that’s the word. It’s just like the cracking open. Um, it’s these opposing forces of energy. And, you know, I reached out to a mentor that we have and I was like, you know, what do I do? And she’s like, sit your ass down and be in it. Um, and so when we go through our awakening journeys, you know, I think it’s also the spiritual bypassing piece is that we just want to have the good bits and yet our transformation doesn’t just happen in the good bits. There’s, you know, this shift and ascension process is sometimes good and other times like, you know, when you’ve got to be with yourself and you’ve got to sit here. And as she so eloquently said, it’s a birthing process, you know, it’s a, there’s a timing.


And there’s a trust in, a patience, and trust and patience are not. Patience is not one of my strengths. Trust is one I’m continuously building, but yeah, trusting that, you know, what we’re experiencing as we go through these journeys is it’s just a wild ride, you know, and, and, and so this consciousness rising, this ascension process has lots of flavors. And as to your point where you’re talking about like, holding these things, like these darker parts, like we have to welcome them as well. Welcome them to the experience because, you know, we had this conversation before the episode that while I’m in this moment right now where I just wanna like skip over this part and I don’t necessarily wanna feel the things that I feel, this is it. This is the journey. And actually, as we do go through our process, we can come to see, and as you mentioned, you know, before when we’re chatting, we’ve been here before. This is just another edge and a new flavor and, you know, to offer some, you know, I don’t know what the word is, but if you’re in the midst of it too, like in your, or you’ve still in those early days of your awakening, it gets easier in the sense that yes, you’ve been here. You know, that it, as Amanda said to me before, it doesn’t last forever.


And that really the gold, there’s gold on the other side of these moments as consciousness within us wants to rise and shift. And the version of ourselves, we get to be, and experience on the other side of that is kind of like, not the reward, but is, you know, it’s the thing you’re after. It’s the thing you’re seeking and you have to go through the, like the transformational fire sometimes. And so this is really part of what is going on for many of us. Yeah, that’s what I’ll say about that.


Amanda (17:10)

Yeah, well, it’s like, I mean, first of all, I don’t know how it is in Australia, but where I grew up, it’s like, my culture teaches people that like, here, fix me. Like, you know, they go to someone, fix me. Like that’s, and therefore like versus like what, like a sickness, for example. Like it has a purpose, right? Like it has, it always has a purpose as something to teach us. And if we’re wanting to avoid it, not look at it, erase it, we don’t get that the experience that basically we, our soul wants us to have if we bypass it. 


And then, where else was I going with that?  Yeah, so it’s like relearning that like we can go through it, right, rather than avoid, look away, ignore it. So the more that we go through it, the like I was telling you about myself, it’s like, okay, I’ve been here before, and this sucks. But I know that there’s also like beauty in the process too. And so if I can just like surrender to the craziness of it and know that this is just a season of my life where there’s something cool on the other side, the gold on the other side that you said.


But when you’re in it, it’s hard to imagine, right? That like, it can shift so quickly that like in like a month, things can be completely different, right? Like my life two months ago was so different than it is right now. It’s so like time is such a funny thing. And like our, you know, our present, our past and our future, like it’s such a weird experience that we can forget how quickly things can shift, how quickly and in ways we can’t even imagine. And so it’s like, if we go through it, like what’s on the other side of that? 


Amanda (19:19)

What I wanted to say is that the process that our earth is going through, right? Our collective is going through, like we’re seeing, as I mentioned, that play out in all of the chaos that we’re seeing in our world, right? And it’s meant to evoke something within us, right? To like, the macrocosm and the microcosm, those are two are always connected.


And so the feelings that we see, like when we are affected by what’s going on in the world, it’s because we need to see it. In order for it to change, we need to see it. We need to feel it. We need to learn how to process and be with those emotions as you said, just be with it, you know, and while it’s hard for all this stuff to be happening right now in our world for, to see like terrible things, but that how we get to a new world is through learning how to see these things and learning how to, almost master our, like develop mastery over our emotional system, right? Cause I think my understanding like this is a watery planet, right? And water is about emotions, right? If we’re talking about the elements, you know, the earth, air, air, earth, air, fire and water and water is about our emotions. 


And I think that’s what we’re here to do. I think we’re here to learn how to not necessarily control our emotions, but like, feel all of the emotions and to be okay with all of the emotions. Where, like what many of us learned from our parents to suppress certain emotions and like getting to know what those emotions are. Like that’s a big part of the work, right? Is like, and so all this stuff is happening. It’s like, you know, people can like, wonder like, why, like, why is this happening? And it’s like, because it’s meant to trigger something in us, because that’s the only way that we transform it is by learning how to master our, our emotions to no longer be the okay, this is where I want to go no longer exists in the be a victim of the fear paradigm, right? That, you know, we can talk about, we’re talking about vibrations, right? And fear is what rules a lot of our systems, right? Like we are kept in line through fear. And so we’re trained through fear, like our nervous systems have been trained through fear and learning to recognize where we are being ruled by fear. We can then release that energy, right? Through that awareness, through things like breath work, things like moving our body, like different practices we can implement in our lives to come to see where fear has a hold of us, right? And we each have our own areas. Like some of us are, like fear of death is a big one for a lot of people. 


The fears that we have like underlying is likely a fear of death, right? But as we awaken, we can still have like, there can still be some fear of death, but as we come to learn that like our existence is consciousness, it’s beyond this 3D reality, we can kind of play with that fear and that fear doesn’t have as much hold over our life experience. And I know I’m going, I went all over the place with that response. And I wanted to say that for our listeners that Kate is a Virgo. She’s earthy. She’s structured. I am very Aquarius. And so as you’re listening to this conversation and you’re getting to know who we are, my brain goes in all these different directions. So sometimes I can go off on tangents, but I have, thankfully I have Kate to be earthy and structured for us. And I think as we go along, getting to know if you’re not familiar with the elements, and that’s been really helpful for me, is learning that I am an airy person and learning to accept that that’s who I am and that sometimes I just need to stop talking.


Kate (23:46)

But I think what you beautifully did was like paint for us many, many avenues, with which we can take this conversation. So, you know, thank you for that because I love that. And, and when I now do my earthy Virgoness I go, okay, so which thread do I want to pull from what you said? So you gave me so much to choose from. So thank you. 


Amanda (24:27)

Cool. Thank you for being able to like ground it somewhere.


Kate (24:34)

You’re welcome. You’re welcome. So yeah, what comes up for me, what you’re, through what you said was, you know, this, this ascension process, this rising of consciousness and, and the, the connection with the collective. And as you’re saying, like, we are going through some really tumultuous times, it seems for us, right. But this is part of this consciousness rising, this ascension process. It is one massive opportunity for us to witness the horrible things that we see, to learn how to hold them, as you said, and I always like to say with an open heart, excuse me. 


One of the first things that I really learned through the early stages of my journey, I read Michael Singer’s Untethered Soul. And there’s certain things that stood out to me in one particular chapter he talks about how it’s really important for us to learn how to keep our hearts open to everything. Because when we close up our hearts, like we’re closing that connection to that part of ourselves, that soul self, that, that part of us, right? And then we might, I don’t want to feel that, you know, and like you’re talking about, we shut down that emotion or whatever. So it’s like, this process is, is keeping our hearts open to all of it, right? And Erin Telford talks about keeping the miracle on the table. 


And that being that when we witness these horrible things, we can give it, she says like 49 % of our awareness, but keep that 51 % for the miracle on the table. Right? So yes, we can witness the horrific things, the, you know, things that spark those negative, you know, fear, fear based emotions in us, because that is part of the experience. We’re not denying that. But we give the 51 % of our awareness to the miracle, to the love side that this can be transformed. It’s the both and, right? Yes, this is awful. And I also want to give more of my energy to the potential this, this horrific thing has for us to transform on a collective level and me personally on an internal level. So to what you were saying, you know, there is this, a lot of fear in the world that we live in, the systems, the media, you know, is perpetuating fear based stories. You know, I do not watch the news. I haven’t for years. And whenever I catch a glimpse of it, like the sensationalism and the particular words in these headlines, like, take a look at those, you know, it is nothing but just trying to like stab you in the side of the head. Like that this is like, you’re, you’re screwed. Life is fucked and it’s not, right. If you give all of your awareness, all of your attention to that, that will be your experience. 


But we are really learning to, as you said, hold both. And when we hold both and as Erin says with that, you know, 51 % and that open, leaving the miracle on the table, we’re holding the door open for the higher potential as well. We don’t deny what’s going on and love and light it. Cause that’s not helpful. That’s the bypassing. And that’s not actually going to make us shift, but then we have this power to say, okay, well, if I’m in that 51 % and I’m keeping the miracle on the table, like what can, what can I shift within me? 


And I, I posted a video that a while back called how we stop war. And it is because it, this is an opportunity for us to look inside first. What is it at war within me? How can I tend to those parts of myself that I am at war with to heal them so that I don’t even hold a vibration or an energy of war or an energy of separation, right? So this is what this ascension journey is about and this healing process in our awakening journey is about is this process of bringing ourselves back into wholeness, accepting ourselves, integrating these parts so that our vibration, as we keep saying, raises because we don’t hold within us the lower frequencies of I hate that part of myself and therefore I hate anyone else that’s like that, you know, cause a lot of the people that we find challenging or experiences or things that we find we want to be away from in some ways are a reflection for us to see, well, where do I still hold that in myself? Cause I recognize that energy, you know, like not everything bothers you, but some stuff does.


And it’s, it’s an opportunity again of like, well, if I’m trying to push that away, where do I still hold it in me? Cause I recognize it. And so it’s such a incredible journey of just going in to be like, well, yeah, where am I holding this? What do I need to, to shift here or transmute it knowing that sometimes exactly it might take a month or three months or three years, but you’re loving open heart to, to these things is what’s helping you individually hold that higher frequency which is helping us raise the collective frequency as we all turn up to these, this awareness using our external world as the sort of additional way to work with things. So that exactly that I think the whole point of this ascension process is so that as a collective, as a larger human species, we get to have a different experience. One that isn’t based in the fear states, it’s based, you know, ideally, and I think at the absolute highest level, it’s at love. But then of course we’re, you know, that’s not going to happen overnight. As we’ve just said many times, this is a process, but we, us all turning up and showing up for that is what’s helping to raise this consciousness, to raise this vibration as so that more and more of us can live in that way. And that is what is going to change things for us on a collective level over time.


Amanda (30:44)

Nice, yeah. I like that, just that representation of the 49, you know, giving our, not giving more than, more to what’s wrong in the world than to what’s right in the world. And, you know, I’ve got, in my personal journey, I’ve gotten really sucked, you know, I’d say in 2016, I had a bit of a, an awakening around like the politics in the United States and seeing how things, you know, how the sausage is made sort of thing. And I got really consumed by it and it affected, I think, my marriage, right? As far as me being so angry. 


And I think it’s part of the, sometimes when we awaken to, I’ll say betrayals, if we believe something about a person or an institution or whatever, if we believe something about something and then we learn that it’s a lie, like there’s a bit of a grief process to go through and part of grief is anger, right? And so it’s okay for us to be angry when we see that there are injustices in the world. But are we, how are, like, is that, is being angry about something and living in despair, is that going to change the thing that we are, the thing that we are so disliking, it’s not gonna change by continuing to focus our, giving our fear energy to it. And so I think as a natural part of the process to have that experience, to see something, right? Like, you know, someone can go through a relationship betrayal and it’s like, it’s normal, right? To be angry at that person and because you’re hurt and…but at the same time, like, are you gonna spend the rest of your life focusing on, or are you gonna move on with your life and make something better with your life? And I think that’s what we are needing to do at this time. It’s learning to see where we may have trusted and then we were betrayed. And it’s like, okay, now what? What’s next? What do I wanna create?


Is paying attention to this, is this helping the situation? Because if we’re just in a fear cycle, we’re basically feeding the thing we don’t want, rather than creating something that’s going to make the old basically obsolete. Because as you were talking, I saw that it’s likem I think some of us have guilt that we’re not in that situation, right? Like, oh, I’m not doing anything for them if I’m not focused on what’s happening. And therefore I better give them my focus. But at the same time, it’s like, maybe we’re not in that situation because we’re supposed to create a solution or create something that is going to move us as a collective out of that energy. And so it’s, you know, as we were talking about social media before this call, it’s like, are we consuming or are we creating? And I think a natural part of this awakening journey is recognizing that many of us are here to create something different, whether it’s in our lives or it’s on a within our families, it’s in our communities, or it’s on a much grander scale, like there can be varying degrees.


And that can be choosing to no longer be a victim. I think it is choosing to no longer be a victim of the situation that we unconsciously found ourselves in, right? Like a lot of times, a lot of the systems like we just went into by default, the schooling system, the financial system, the healthcare system, et cetera.


Those are the default. It’s like you have to opt out. I think opting out, if you’re angry about one of these systems, it’s like, okay, it’s okay to be angry. And then what are you gonna choose, right? I think this time, and this is talked about in the Gene Keys specifically, Gene Key 55 is about this time that we’re in right now, and it’s moving from victimization to freedom.


And so where are we being a victim in our lives? And, you know, it’s, we’ve all been there. We, you know, we’re all there in some ways still. I think this is the time of us that’s allowing us to recognize where we are existing in that energy. Cause on a collective, we are moving out of that energy. We’re moving into it from victimization to freedom. And, where are we choosing to not take responsibility for our circumstances? Because I think if we continue to be angry at something or someone, we are giving them our power and therefore we’re a victim. And when we no longer, when it no longer has that charge over us, when we no longer, when we choose to give, to create something, to give our energy elsewhere.


We are reclaiming our power. We are in a way making that the thing that we are so angry about. We’re giving it less power by walking away.


Kate (36:35)

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Paul Selig says about fear, that fear seeks to create more fear. Like that’s fear’s purpose, right? It, it gets your attention and then you feel the fear. And as you said, it creates more fear. And then, you know, if we have a vision or like a scale of the two energies, like if you’re giving all of your focus and feeling victimized by what you see and powerless, it fuels that energy, you know, and so it’s like, you know, the two parts of a chart, right? Like, yes, it’s there. We’re not denying any of that, but your power lies in what you do. And as you spoke about too, it can make you angry. And, you know, that, that edge of anger is how do we use that? There’s, there’s anger can be powerful. It can be creative force. It can be a destructive force and it can be creative force. How can we use our anger to be creative with that and to move it into something that is going to shift for us or for others and exactly come to that place where we see that, you know, we have this ability to be more aware, to choose for ourselves, to choose how we give our energy, where we place it. We have to tend to things in ourselves to be able to do that. And I think if we can, you know, also as we notice ourselves, maybe, you know, feeling pulled into the fear.


It’s, it is that awareness. So the journey is, you know, doing the things that help you have that awareness of yourself and your patterns. And then when you do feel yourself slip that way, first and foremost, compassionately hold that like you’re a human and there’s a lot out there that wants to suck you in. So don’t give yourself a hard time because then you’re just sort of feeding that whole thing anyway. Hold yourself lovingly in that little middle place, that equanimous place of the center. Oh, here I am. What do I want to do with that?


You know, how do I want to be with that? First, I’m going to love myself in this moment of like have compassion that yeah, this is a bloody challenging experience to have a very difficult reality to navigate. Um, you know, yeah, love yourself, be curious, come back to your center, ground, connect, you know, in these trying times, it might mean like switching some of that off. So many people that I spoke to through COVID, clients and things like that, you know, listening to podcasts that are just news radio is like, do you like, this is, it’s just like a direct line to that. You’ve got to cut that off. As we spoke about before social media, it has its way of connecting us, but how is it, you know, interacting with your system, even with your best intentions, it can be pulling you away from, you know, your sovereignty, your strength, your knowing, your clarity. So, you know, how we can operate in this world and you know, be, be in it, but not of it. Is that the, is that the saying or aware of it and not in it? I don’t know what I was going with that, but yeah, be in it, but not of it. Is that the way it goes?


Amanda (39:37)

Mm hmm. Yeah, there’s a there’s a card in my favorite Oracle deck. I think you have the Sacred Rebel Oracle deck also. Yeah, there’s like in the world. But not of the world, I think is a card. It’s like the woman with the fish.


Kate (39:46)

Yeah. So, you know, like, exactly, like, it’s a really a claiming of, of this consciousness part of ourselves, right, that the more and more of that part of us, we are more and more of that soul self we are, the more we are able to hold, you know, all of what goes on around us from that place of loving compassion, and that’s a journey, you know, but we can see, more and more how all of this is, is for this greater evolution for all of us, even the people right now struggling through these atrocities to have a better experience, you know, or a better life for like across the board for humanities, you know, vibration and experience of life to shift and change.


Amanda (40:43)

Yeah, and yeah, I think you’ve summed it up there nicely. It’s like in simply stated, it’s all happening for us to reach a higher state of love. And that’s where, that’s where this process is going. And so it’s within us and you know, it first, first, as you stated, have to, work through these things as they come up because they’re all coming up for us so we can love ourselves more.


I’ve had a lot of that come through in my work with ayahuasca as far as, you know, like what is my purpose? And it’s like, well, really just my purpose is here to learn to love myself. And my name means beloved and then in the ayahuasca ceremony, I realized, I’m like, oh, that’s really be loved. Like, like that’s, and I never really connected with my name before that, but it was like, oh, I’m just, that’s what I’m here to learn is to be loved. And which it takes away all the like, everything that I’ve felt as far as shame, there’s like shame of like not feeling that I fit into the mold of society. Like I’ve never felt like I’m fit with the crowd and you know, I’m very Aquarius and so that makes sense and I understand that now, but I never, I didn’t always understand that. And so, if not having a conventional path, like we learn that it’s like, what is our purpose? It’s like to have a certain career or right to like have a role. And I’ve never, like I’ve had so many different roles and nothing ever really has stuck because it’s like, those aren’t actually my purposes. Like, and I don’t think there any like, ultimately, they’re vehicles for us to learn these things about ourselves, right? To not overly identify with these labels and roles and they’re not truly who we are on a soul level. They’re just, they’re a part of us, right? And so, because I never really felt like I fit in, there was like, there was a, I don’t know if there’s more than normal for, maybe a lot of people have, we all have things in areas where we need to learn to love ourselves more. But being able to just accept that like, that’s why I’m here on earth. That’s like, in everything that comes to me is just another opportunity to learn more, more love for myself. 


And, you know, I have, you know, I think I’ve mentioned that we have a puppy and he’s been very, it’s been a very, it’s been a big challenge for me, I’ll say. I’ve been a big growth edge, which, you know, people just think puppies. And you have a puppy, but it hasn’t seemed to affected you or consumed you. And maybe you just keep that separate. But this puppy has consumed me. But it’s like, he’s really this, I see he’s this vehicle to learn to love myself more, and also love for another. So everything that we’re going through is really this opportunity to love ourselves more. And when we love ourselves more, that’s how we change the world is through loving ourselves, because then we can give out.


Kate (44:17)

Yes, yes. Amen. Aho. To all of that. Yeah. But I mean, exactly. I think to continue on with this purpose piece exactly for every single one of us, it is to remember we are love. You know, like really, that’s what we are. You know, and that’s, that’s not an easy journey to come to. It’s not a, there’s no direct path to that. And it’s, it’s kind of an out there concept that that’s the purpose. But when we are that, we vibrate a different way, as you said, we then love people differently, right? Like relationships as well are our amazing opportunity for us to awaken, to grow, to, you know, because they are this mirror for us. And I know, you know, you’ve shared in your own story, how that was the big healing that went on for you post your awakening with you and your husband and like becoming, growing to be these two versions of you that you really wanted to be in union for your family.


You know, our relationships too are this, you know, where I hold myself out of love and I hold another out of love and like this constant, you know, learning to, to truly love without condition, you know, humans love with conditions. Our soul is an unconditional love and it’s a very different way of experiencing things. It’s, you know, it’s not so much an emotional feeling. It’s a state of being and it’s us being that, that vibration, you know, that is a powerful effect. And, you know, and then what we do when we’re, you know, operating from that as an offering to the world, as a profession to the world, as a, you know, how we are with people. That’s, as you said, is where we’re really living our highest service, you know, in whatever flavor and version of that, that that looks and yeah. So really this, you know, this consciousness rising and ascension process is that. Yeah.


Amanda (46:25)

Okay, so where this conversation has gone, like really just for lazy listening, like we have had a few bullet points written down and this conversation really has gone where it’s wanted to go. 


And so, but what I feel, you know, I know we’re kind of at time, but like what wants to like be mentioned is Jesus. And we’re just like, you know, and we were talking about before we got on this call of like how this exercise of creating this podcast is really about speaking what feels true to us, even though it might not, might not be understood by others. And I think, you know, a part of my work with myself, I’ve realized I’ve held back about sharing authentically because I don’t trust that people can understand what I’m trying to say. And so for me, like, I mentioned Jesus because like I, my history with religion, like I don’t, I never ascribed to a religion. I was not raised Christian or Catholic. And yet I’ve come to understand through my own personal experience, this energy of Christ consciousness, right? And my understanding of Jesus is that he was a human who embodied this consciousness. And so we’re talking about consciousness and so, and we’re talking about heart and talking about love. And so I think that’s like where we’re going here with this. I think that’s where this conversation wants to go. Because that’s what we’re about, like awakening


Kate (47:52)

Mm hmm. Mm hmm.


Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm. Mm -hmm.


Amanda (48:07)

So for me, like I did have an experience in Ayahuasca where I did experience Christ consciousness in my heart. And it’s not something that I’ve talked a lot about because it’s this intangible kind of indescribable experience, but it was this like taste of this energy. And I think that’s what, where we’re going, right? We’re going towards this energy of unconditional love, as you mentioned. And that’s what Jesus, as I understand it, embodied in the physical form. He was an example of a human being, I just got chills, living from that place, right? From that place and miracles.


Like the stories of Jesus were that he was able to do these healing miracles from this place of unconditional heart openness, whereas we learn to close off our hearts. And so it’s, yes, it’s this relearning of, and that’s what I was shown in the ayahuasca ceremony is like my work is really to learn how to live from this heart centered place.


And interestingly, where I am physically on the planet is a place that it’s on all this rose quartz. It’s a very heart centred, Mexico is a very heart centered country and this place specifically, it is called the heart of Mexico. And it has this, it’s centered around this huge pink, church that’s super iconic and it’s just people here know how to live from a very heart centered place. And I feel like that’s what I’m, you know, no one’s like people are no one’s perfect, but it’s like, it’s this energy that I did not experience in my culture of origin that I’m, I’m feeling from being here. And I also, I did a peyote experience, a ceremony here. And that’s what I experienced as well. It’s like, how do we learn to live from this heart centered space? How do we learn how to have conflict with each other and approach it from this place of heart openness versus I’m gonna close off my heart so I don’t get hurt. I’m gonna attack you rather than try to love you through it. And it’s like, so it’s this relearning, relearning with ourselves and then it’s like, then we have to relearn how to be with one another. And I think that’s where we’re going. It’s like relearning how to exist and interact in a different way.


Kate (50:54)

Yeah. And then I just think that, you know, imagine that world, right? Where we can meet conflict and meet challenge and meet emotion and meet other people’s hurt parts with this purely open heart of like, you know, I think the other part of that is remembering that we are all the same in that sense. We are all these souls. We are all these humans with these traumas and baggage and a way to start to feel that unconditional love is by remembering that, right? Yes, this person might do these things that are horrible acts of other humans. We have to remember that they are still a soul who has this 100 % capacity to be unconditional love. They are that and they are human with their human mind, their ego, their traumas, their stories, their conditioning, their programming, the whatever the systems have put on them to, to inform them of how they choosing to be maybe very unconsciously.


And yet the, the greatest task we can do through our awakening and you can kind of get a flavor of it as you progress through things is seeing that other human in that fullness with your full, your heart open that even though they do these atrocious things, I can still keep my heart open to the knowing who you, who you really are, you know, and Paul Selig talks about this too, is that, you know, even in that act, that I see who the truth of who you are. Um, we hold them to that high, higher vibration, even though their human self might be acting in that lower vibration. And so that is part of this process as well is, is that we, I see the truth of you. I hold you to that truth. Like I don’t hold you in shadow. I don’t hold you down in these lower densities of like you are that because if I hold you in shadow, I hold myself in shadow. 


And then again, it’s coming back to that fear conversation. If I’m staying in the fear, then if I put you in fear, then I’m putting myself in fear. But if I come back to the miracles on the table, I give you the potential of the miracle as well as myself. So, you know, it’s that seeing of the other human as the truth of who they are. So that because I believe it’s the truth of who I am. So it is the same for everybody else. And even as I say it, I just feel my own energy like expand, like that’s, that’s the energetic that we’re moving to is this, you know, and it’s, it’s a process again, to get to that, but part of what this journey is about. 


And like you said, you know, the energy that the human being Jesus, you know, embodied, he was, he was that, and he was this amazing example of that. And, you know, Bibles have not exactly the full story, they’re a slice and there’s lots of hidden parts of that, that were, you know, kept from what the church wanted to say. Um, but if you do dive into that.


You know, and for me as well, just to wrap up here is that, you know, I was brought up a Catholic and, you know, had to go to church and had to confess all the time and just, it didn’t feel right to me. And so by the end of primary school, I was like, said to my very devout Catholic grandmother, I don’t believe in God. I don’t buy this stuff. And she was devastated. But then through my life, something felt like it was missing this rejection of God. And I had to have, heal my relationship with it and come back to it in my own terms. And, you know, in later years, I have come to understand this person, Jesus Christ. And, you know, wow, what an incredible human that person was. So, you know, that’s maybe something that we can come back to in another conversation, but yeah, what I think, you know, if there’s anything else you want to share, but I think we’ve had a really awesome conversation here and I love that we just sort of let it go where it wanted to go. And I love all the places that it wanted to go. Is there anything else that you wanted to say before we close?


Amanda (54:24)

No, no, I think we touched upon a lot of what the Ascension journey, the consciousness, what consciousness is, right? Like, and it’s cool how we got to where we got without even having a logical plan, like just allowing it to go where it wanted to go. And I excited for more of these conversations where we get to start a topic and just allow the conversation because that’s really what I think this is about. It’s like having this play of like your mind and my mind and other people’s minds and seeing what wants to come out of the creation of the people in this container that we’ve created. So yeah, it’s a good conversation. Thank you.


Kate (55:18)

Yeah. Yeah, you’re welcome. And, you know, for those listening, we’re really hoping that through these conversations that we’re helping to give you the tools to sort of expand your context of things, you know, like to build this bigger canvas of understanding of the reality of the world, the world we’re living in through the lens of the awakening journey, you know, where you’re learning as we go through this process as well. So we’re just hoping to evolve with you as these conversations evolve. And yeah, so thank you so much for listening to this episode and we really look forward to having you again on the next episode.



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Awakening Conversations Podcast

With Kate Megee & Amanda Richardson-Meyer

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Kate & amanda - Your hosts on this conversational journey!

Meet your hosts

Both Amanda & Kate have been through and are still going through their own awakening journeys, which, in fact, the creation of this podcast is a continuation of their awakening unfoldings.

While being located in very different geographical regions of Earth, they have brought their energy together through the gift of technology to explore the ideas and experiences of the awakening journey, which has transformed each of their lives in unique ways.

Learn more about the hosts
No Glitter Brown GradientAmanda Richardson-Meyer
No Glitter Brown GradientKate Megee
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